Scurlock’s Donuts in Jackson, Miss.

I meant to write about this, uh, a month and a half ago.

I was down in Jackson, Miss., for a business trip at The Clarion-Ledger, when I went across the street to get coffee and donuts at Scurlock‘s. I didn’t have cash on me and I wanted a dozen donuts (to ply my new business partners, of course) and a cup of coffee. The proprietor’s card machine was down, but instead of turning me away, he began to load the dozen donuts into a box for me. I fished in my purse for loose change and told him I was from out of town and didn’t know when I’d be able to get the remaining money to him. He was not concerned. “That’s OK,” he told me. “You’ll be back.” And I walked out of there with a box of warm donuts I had barely paid for. Talk about paying it forward. So I have been meaning to write about that and mail a check for decidedly more than the $4 or so I owe Scurlock’s. Just to say thanks.

Because how often does that kind of thing happen these days?

So if you’re ever down in Jackson and you get the chance, stop by and say hi. There are good people in there.

A new name for an old pursuit

New beginnings, I guess. I’m trying.

Theogeo Design & Photography was a cumbersome name so now it’s Eyedot Creative.

Here’s an explanation.

The Twitter‘ and Facebook changed, too, and did you know I have a Tumblr?

My oldest nephew graduates high school this year

That seems like an insane thing when it seems like he was JUST THISBIG. Like so (2007):

casey's birthday — June 30

He’s about to be a man now, about to bust into the adult world. Guh.

I got to shoot his senior pictures over the weekend. He wanted to have them done on the farm rather than on the grounds of the Pickwick Inn or wherever the standard Hardin County senior shots are done. We crammed the whole shoot into the magic hour and I had to call his brother a jackass to get him to smile showing his teeth so obviously it was fun.

He looks just like his dad but then you zoom in close to do some editing and suddenly you see my sister in all his facial features. It’s wild.

He’s a good kid and he’s got a lot of growing up to do but don’t we all?

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I used to have this perception of adulthood…

… as being this time of settling into wisdom and really coming into myself and becoming comfortable with this crazy thing we call life and getting to carve out time to be better and feel better and do better. But adulthood has been nothing but nonstop, exhausting insanity, like some fucked-up round of Whack-a-Mole that never ends, where the little dudes are not only popping up but popping up in flames that spread and the faster I thwack them, the more they spit fire at me.

Or like opening a vein temporarily that just ends up bulging and pushing and pushing and pushing because the needle is never satisfied and, oh, what is your other arm doing, because we’re going to need to use that one too.

It sucks. God, it sucks. And I am bad at it. And I want to stop doing it. Can I opt out?

In the weeds

I’m up way past my bedtime and I have had some bubbly and I’m feeling so full of the need to create that it nearly cripples me. I can’t wait for the job to level out, to get some Me Time back, to start making stuff again. I feel like I’ve been a mercenary in an unfriendly city for two months already and I’m not sure how that happened but I can’t say I didn’t expect it to a certain degree. Still, I want my life back and when I get it back it is going to feel like obscene luxury, I tell you.

8.5.12 and 9.5.12: Nine and Ten Months Old

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Baby Bear: The clock is spinning out of control and I’m trying to catch up. I apologize for my lapse in posting about your milestones but I am not exaggerating when I say that this is the craziest life has ever been and there just seems to be a lack of time every single day of the week. I am so, so happy your daddy and you are finally here in Nashville with me. Those first few weeks when I was without you were really, really hard and very lonely. When you first moved, before we got your room set up, all three of us slept in the bedroom and that was a CRAZY week or two. But you are here and we are learning all about our new life in Nashville. And you? You are learning so fast and really leaping from baby to boy at a pace that floors me.

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These days you are still up early, anywhere between 5:30 and 7 a.m. but most often right at 6, and you take a bottle and play in the floor for a good two hours while I snooze (if I worked late the night before) or hang out nearby. You really dig those stackable rings (especially when I put them on your head) and your little salt shaker. And there is this toy with four big wheels on it and bells inside. You love to shake that thing really hard. I feed you some breakfast (you really like banana raspberry oatmeal or any kind of fruit) and then you’re ready for a nap. You nap in your crib now (and lately you really love your mobile and you get so excited when we wind it up for you) for an hour or two and then you’re up and ready for lunch and more playtime. It’s around this time during the week that I have to get ready for work so Daddy takes over.

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You’re sitting strong now (we graduated from the Bumbo for meals to the high chair!) and you even have finally started realizing how much fun it is to roll around. I was so surprised when I saw you do it for the first time. Sure, your dad had seen you flip over a few times over the past few months, but you never did it in front of me. And then one day you just went BLOOP and I did a doubletake. Now I go upstairs during your nap to check on you (yes, I still do that) and see that you’re snoozing on your tummy when I left you on your back.

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Your newfound mobility is showing itself in other ways, too. I see you sitting and reaching as far as you can. You are just on the verge of figuring out that you can actually make your whole body move forward. You are really into standing up and walking, although we have to hold your hands. You like to bounce your way from point to point and the cats like to give you some motivation to get moving by staying just out of your reach.

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We play a lot of games. You like when we lie on the bed under the covers and we play like we’re in a tent. Then we play peek-a-boo and you think that is pretty funny. One of the best things you do is your little wiggle hug. Daddy or I will be holding you and you will see something that tickles you and you’ll throw your arms around our neck and wiggle your body because you are just so excited. You also like to try to grab our glasses and the remote and many things we are eating. You take your Exersaucer bouncing time very seriously. Very.

You’re eating three meals a day now plus snacks. You mastered that pincher grasp everyone is so nutty about a month and a half ago and now you are a puffs-eating machine. OK, a dropping-puffs-everywhere machine. We got a little blender thing for you so Daddy can make you fresh food. I don’t bother because I don’t even make food for our iron adult stomachs. You love peas and green beans and sweet potatoes and all fruit and some meat, but you always gag when the food has little chunks in it. You’re starting to get the hang of your sippy cup and at dinner time, I let you drink out of a big boy cup and you make a huge mess but you LOVE IT. However, you could bite the cup a little less. Not criticizing, just saying!

Our new house has horses across the street and your daddy takes you down there sometimes to look at them. They run up to you and look at you sideways but you usually are more interested in watching passing cars. You love going to the park and going to the mall. Just as long as it’s light out and you have something to look at, you are totally cool. Daddy texts me pictures of you having adventures while I am at work, sort of like you are the gnome in Amelie. You’re saying Dada and Mama more and more with a purpose and my favorite word of yours is when you purse your lips and puff out your cheeks and blow as hard as you can. I have no idea what you are trying to say but you do that a lot when I’m changing your diaper and it cracks me up. Seeing you get surprised by the power of your own voice is still very amusing to me.

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You have grown this lovely crop of silky brown hair that is getting so wonderfully long in front. You’ve come a long way from your little rattail, Buds. You’re no longer bathing in your whale tub; you’re in the big-boy tub now, although you really hate getting water on your face and the sounds you make when I rinse your hair out and water gets near your nose makes me feel like I am waterboarding you. You like to grab objects and turn them over and over, back and forth, examining them closely. Your eyes have started to show threads of brown woven in the blue. You’ve now got four teeth — two up, two down — and that fourth one was a real bear.

Lately you’ve had a few grumpy days but I think it’s been part teething/part not getting enough sleep/part just you starting to show your independence and your will. As you start to realize how big and interesting the world is, you’re starting to want access to more and more of it. It’s scary but wonderful all at the same time for your ol’ Mama.

It's happening Look who's up at 1 am! Shades