Bitchy McComplainsalot people suck

Mail fail

Oh, First World Problems.

I ordered two packs of miracle berry pills at around 9 p.m. Friday, May 14. I needed them for the following Sunday for Randal’s going-away party, so I figured three- to five-day shipping would give them plenty of time to make it to me. I got nervous when the next Friday rolled around and they still weren’t here. I tracked the package and saw that it had shipped the night of my order (cool!) but had sat in Houston for five days (huh?) before departing for Memphis.

The next day (Saturday), as the day waned and I began to realize my pills weren’t coming because it was 6 p.m. and I had gotten no mail, I repeat, no mail, I tracked the package again. It said the USPS had delivered them to me at 8:35 a.m. Except the USPS hadn’t delivered a damn thing to me all day. Which is odd, because I get mail every single day, and have since I moved to this house. Even if it’s just circulars or crap for the previous homeowner. Mail. Every day. And it never comes at 8:35 a.m.

So I resigned myself to getting the damn pills on Monday, and just disputing the shipping charges. Except I didn’t get any mail Monday either.

No mail, two days in a row. Odd, I tell you.

And here it is Wednesday, and I’ve still not gotten the pills. I did get mail yesterday and today, though. But not my order. I am annoyed mostly because that seems to mean I have pissed away $60. Those miracle berry bastards are not cheap.

I’m finding myself in one of those infuriating situations where I am just so powerless to actually convince anyone that they should fix this for me.

I filed a complaint with the seller via Amazon regarding the shipping. They were nice, I guess (although they acted like I was at fault because I probably had the package shipped to an apartment, which is not the case) and refunded half my shipping cost ($6) but told me I’d need to track the package with the post office. I spent a stupidly stupid amount of time trying to get to a human on the post office’s “customer service” lines (including the main one linked on their website, the one you are told to call if you have trouble tracking down a lost package, but the robot told me that line is not equipped to allow you to talk to a human). I finally did get a human and explained my problem. She told me all I could do is file a complaint.

Buuuuut the “system was down.” So she couldn’t file my complaint. And I’d just have to call back at some later time. When? She wasn’t sure. You just never know when that pesky “system” will be working again.

Here’s something else that’s weird: the zombie walk permit, which the permits office lady told me she mailed to me Thursday of last week, also hasn’t made it here. It normally comes in a largish manila envelope.

I just tried calling my local USPS package warehouse (the one near Cleveland and Autumn), only to be told that it was not the right storage facility for my Zip code (makes sense; last time I used that place was when I lived in 38104). But the number the lady gave me for my current storage facility has been disconnected. It was a shot in the dark anyway. They would have told me if I had a package to pick up, right? Right?

So, post office. What gives? And why the fuck do you make it so hard for me to address this problem?

5 thoughts on “Mail fail”

  1. Assuming you paid for the miracle berries with a credit card, a quick call to the credit card company explaining your situation should take care of the $60. I’ve had empty boxes show up on my doorstep where cellphones were removed somewhere in transit–companies would rather have the good PR than the $60.

    Oh, and if I didn’t mention it before, thanks so much for the potluck!

  2. Good try with the blogging, but I don’t think this will turn out like Dooce’s washing machine FWP. Heh heh heh.

  3. I have had the same occur with the “ghost delivery.” I filed 3 claims with the USPS (2 were “lost”) and finally received reimbursement for my shipment and the lost items.

    Keep the faith.

  4. For a very long time random bits of my mail were showing up at a commercial address on the other side of (our small) town… this wasn’t a big deal most of the time — the lady who opens the mail knows who I am and she’d normally just drop it on my porch. Notice, I said “opens the mail”. Her normal procedure is apparently to flip over the envelopes, cut them open, extract the contents and attach it to the envelope before distributing it in the building… So, she’d open my mail. All well and good until I one day received some blood test results. There was nothing embarrassing (or incriminating) in the results, but I did realize how much I’d been trusting these people to whom my mail was accidentally redirected. I complained to the postmaster general (online) and was assured I’d receive a reply with 24 hours — never heard a thing. I finally complained in person several times and my delivery gradually became more reliable.

    On another note, the phrase “zombie walk permit” makes me smile.

  5. Yeah, I’d try calling your credit card company and hopefully they will just pay out on the $60.

    I’d try calling the post office back during working hours, obviously it’s no guarantee but systems usually ‘go down’ when the centre opens, around 5-6pm when people finish work and at night before the centre closes.

    Best of luck with your $60 and/or pills though !

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