theology&geometry

Things I have done today:

• Warmed up leftovers
• Ate said leftovers
• Read some essays from Bitchfest
• Put my hair in a ponytail
• Took my hair out of a ponytail
• Loaded the dishwasher
• Snuggled my cats
• Daydreamed
• Napped … twice
• Scoffed at Facebook profiles and photos maintained by people I don’t care much for
• Watched Le Tigre videos on YouTube
• Put my hair back in a ponytail

Actually, now that I list it all, it’s been a fairly productive day. Heh.

I’m thinking I might up the ante and take a shower so I can go see the Batman movie later. I am officially the last person on the planet who has not seen it and it’s an increasingly lonely existence.

• Random thought that just popped into my head while I was taking a shower: Is Jim Varney dead? Yes. Yes, he is. And what’s so weird about that particular thought popping into my head today is that the anniversary of his death was yesterday. My shine is weak.

• I’m sitting here with wet hair and a list of errands that can’t be run until the hair is dry. So what am I doing? Nothing that involves picking up the blow dryer, naturally.

• Somehow I’ve let my bookshelves overflow and books have begun creeping into the half of my bed that I don’t sleep on. I don’t mind it all that much, actually. They don’t get jealous when I give attention to other books, and they don’t get grumpy when I turn on the lamp in the middle of the night, or when I snore or hog the covers, which I would totally never do. But this clearly points to two things: My need for more shelving and my inability these days to pick a book and stick with it the whole way through before cracking open another.

• Actually, I did finish one of those books up there Friday night: Sharon Olds’ Blood, Tin, Straw. I know a lot of people are torn about Olds’ poetry and some people think is straight-up sucks, but I happen to love it. It’s visceral, and often too pragmatic and matter-of-fact while being sweepingly metaphoric, but there is something so fearless about its honesty that I can’t help but like it. If you need a sappy love poem to read to your SO this Thursday, you could try this one (forgive the Comic Sans).

• I think I’ll go see The Savages some time today. One of the more interesting aspects of being single is the part where you go to movies by yourself. (I know there are some non-single people who do this too; I’m just saying, when I was part of a couple, I never would have gone to a movie alone because there’s all sorts of relationship politics tied up in going to see movies without the other partner.) I went last week to see There Will Be Blood by myself, and had a pretty great time. Although, it does feel kind of weird to laugh when there’s no one beside you laughing too. (Blood was fantastic, and yes, there were funny parts. At least they were funny to me.)

• I’m ready for spring. And things that are green.

• There is a series of small scratches and puncture wounds spanning from my legs to my shoulders where I have been used as a tree trunk/scratching post while sitting at my desk and attempting to type on my keyboard while the cats scaled the desk chair repeatedly, using me as an inconvenience to be trampled upon.

• All cords have had to be elevated to the extremely unattractive location known as “eye level” so as to be better ignored by tiny feline creatures the height of my baseboards.

• Sally’s farting problem has, thankfully, gotten better since I stopped feeding them soft food, but she still sometimes lets one fly when I pick her up or — worst of all — when I creep up and lean in for a little kitty smooch. And they are foul.

• Fleas. Gah! Two more weeks ’til I can safely treat them.

• Jack is a purrer. He purrs constantly, but when he’s really happy, his motorboat-like vibrations raise several decibels and you have to turn up the TV.

• Sally, despite being the skittish one at first, is now Ms. Insane Play-with-me-constantly-or-I-will-attack- your-extremities Cat. She enjoys lying beside me as I watch TV or lie in bed to read, and attacking my eyelashes every time I blink. I don’t think she ever sleeps. Ever.

• My friend Ashley got me one of those laser pointer things, which was a fabulous present because it means I plant my ass down somewhere and make them chase it until they figure out they’re never going to catch it.

• Their favorite place to lounge is right behind my ass as I’m on the computer, which means I have to sit on the edge of the seat to type anything. Which means I’m on the computer less and less, as it’s extremely uncomfortable.

• I’m still the boss, though. Right?

1. The new White Stripes album. All you haters can bite me. They’re awesome.

2. Knocked Up. I laughed my ass off. I am having a hard time accepting that Paul Rudd will never be mine.

3. Ignoring the news for three days straight. Seriously, what’s happening out there in the world? Oh wait, nevermind, I don’t care.

4. Cheap German Riesling. I like it sweet and syrupy, like Relax and Funf. I had a couple of glasses of Funf with a grilled steak tonight and it was fabulous pairing, despite the dreaded red meat/white wine crossover (which we all know is a buncha hooey anyway). The steak was hefty and spicy, and the Riesling swooped in and cooled the palate and rounded out the dish in a way a bloody Cab wouldn’t have been able to.

5. The new Kings of Leon. Still. It’s fabulous for road trips.

1. I picked a bodacious scab off my foot just now, much to my relief. I’ve been picking at that thing for weeks and it hadn’t budged. And now that it’s gone, it doesn’t hurt nearly as much when I walk. Score!

2. Tampax Pearl tampons are shockingly awesome, despite their not-so-environmentally-friendly nature.

3. About 95 percent of the calories I consumed today were derived from French Onion dip.

• Primitivo is surprisingly a good companion to the pistachios I’ve been addicted to lately.

• Some feckless cretin has been using my laundry detergent and it was damn near gone just now when I went downstairs to do two loads. I got ONE load out of it. And I have used it ONCE since I bought it. Grrr.

• Those of you playing at home will deduce that this means that I used someone else’s detergent for the second load. Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?

• My Pulp Fiction poster just peeled off the wall and scared the bejesus outta me.

• I need a haircut.

• I gots meself a new blogcrush on Andy Axel for his swashbuckling awesomeness during the Jesus’ General/Brittney/NiT dustup. And don’t tell him, but I’m kinda crushin’ a little on ol’ Roger Abramson, too, for the good fight he put up.

• As the resident nocturnal blogger in these parts, I’m still over here shouting into a canyon to some people who are being willfully obtuse. I blame the primitivo. But seriously. The wank — sometimes, it hurts with how dumb it gets and you feel like, hopeless as it is, you have to counter the bullshit just so the Universe at least knows that counter-wank exists.

• I should totally admit that I’m stealing “wank” from Shannon. Shannon, if you ever read this, thank you. “Wank” is the perfect word for webshits.

• Tomorrow’s supposed to be the hottest day of the year so far: 95. Oy.

• I don’t care what kind of mood you’re in — if you just listen to some freaking Jai Uttal for a minute or two, you’ll start to feel some hope creep back in.

• I’ve damn near killed my geraniums. I think I’ve been overwatering them. Bah!

• It is imperative that I get back to the gym. Now. I have taken a two-month break to let my foot heal, and I’m more than ready to go back. I’ve been ready. For weeks. But there’s always that lag, that period of time when the nerves do a number on you and make it tough to get back into the healthy routine. Or, maybe that’s just me. But it’s time. I can feel it. Tomorrow.

• Dried cherries from Walgreens. Dear god these things are amazing.

• Jezzball.

• Grow.

• The new Kings of Leon album. Finally, I’ve come around to liking it after a month of feeling extremely “meh” about it. And I can pinpoint the exact moment my opinion changed: Mother’s Day, at my aunt and uncle’s cabin, just as a political discussion was getting heated and I realized I couldn’t sit there and not say anything for much longer (I try my best these days to stay out of these discussions because I always end up crying because the people I love hold such awful opinions of their fellow humans of different races and, often, genders), so I grabbed my camera and my iPod and went upstairs to sit alone on the deck. As I settled into the rocking chair, I hit the shuffle button. And “Knocked Up” began, its opening beats steady and quiet, building gradually. I stared out over the river to the opposite bank and watched the wind flirt with the trees. I think the sun winked at me, y’all. The song was the perfect soundtrack to a breezy Sunday spent on a rocking chair on the bank of the river. And after that moment, the rest of the album made complete sense.

• Procrastination, which is why I’m making this list.

• Relatedly, ambivalence.

• lolcats. I know, they’re on the verge of jumping the shark (if they haven’t already), but they crack me up so much I just can’t stand it. Lately I’ve been giggling at I Can Has Cheezburger? and contemplating the greater cultural significance and grammatical implications of cat macros. And you can even make your own. I’m itching to break out some homemade ferret macros. Felix was born to be a macro star.

• There is no Apt. 13 in my building. I just noticed today.
• I love the Pizza Cafe. Can I reiterate that enough?
• I’ve been biting my nails a bit more than usual. Ouch. And WTF?
• My foot is sore. But I need to suck it up and get back to the gym after a long hiatus that has basically left my ass dragging.
• Sometimes I want to mate with my camera and make human-camera hybrid bots that can gaze upon random objects and capture their essences with minimal intrusion and effort.
• Only recently did I realize that there is a freaking KOI POND in my third-favorite liquor store. How I managed to miss that until recently is a mystery to me.
• There has already been talk of what I might be for Halloween this year.
• I’m wondering where to get a newsy fedora that I can stick a “Press” card in.
• Wouldn’t it be great if there was some kind of contraption that would brush my teeth for me?
• I’m looking forward to seeing the ATHF movie tomorrow (Monday) with Brandon. I dread the inevitable disappointment of realizing the movie isn’t as funny as it could have been. But I look forward to the laughs.

Back: Miraculously pain-free. It’s amazing how we forget that pleasure is often simply the absence of pain.

Brain: Tired and overworked but still buzzing with life.

Job: Begins May 24 at 7:45 a.m. sharp, when I’ll report for orientation.

Groceries: Have not been completely consumed, though I did have tacos tonight, thanks to Phil and his practical know-how. He sure is a whiz with a skillet.

I think I’ll go into work early tomorrow, and work eight hours. My Thursday nite class is canceled this week, but we’re supposed to go see The Laramie Project instead. I think I’ll wait until Saturday, when Phil can come with me. Friday I think I might hitch a ride on a chartered bus to Birmingham to learn some civil rights history. And I might scope out my future 10-week home.

Today, I saw

+A woman waiting at the crosswalk get splashed by some inconsiderate driver.

+A couple walking their dog let it crap on someone’s lawn.

+None of my friends. :(

+My umbrella turn inside out.

+Part of If These Walls Could Talk 2. Good flick. Really nice love scene between Michelle Williams and Chloe Sevigny. I love movie love scenes that don’t suck. Other good ones are in Elizabethand Meet Joe Black.