1. She has to pee.
2. She wants you to think she has to pee. She does not, sucker!
3. Another dog exists somewhere outside, she’s sure of it.
4. She is a machine that runs on love and attention and if her love input meter runs too low she will die, literally die, at 4 a.m.
5. The best stick chewing happens between 4:30 and 5 a.m. and she needs you to facilitate that by opening the door.
6. She thinks your snoring is growling and it makes her feisty.
7. She has doggy amnesia and forgets every night at midnight that she is not allowed in the bed.
8. She’s interested in hearing about the dream of yours she just interrupted.
9. She wants to chew on her bone but it’s not fun unless you’re watching because she’s a little bit of an exhibitionist.
10. She has not made any new friends in HOURS.