Yesterday’s visit with the midwife brought lots of good news I didn’t expect: I passed my glucose screening so I am officially not diabetic. I’m also not anemic. No swelling. Appropriate weight gain. Yay nutrition! Plus I got a nice discount off my bill because of a bartering arrangement we worked out and because my midwife is a badass in general. 
Baby butternut squash has maneuvered his way into a mostly head-down position, with his butt shoved just under my right ribs. I knew something was right there in that spot but I thought it was his head. It bulges higher than the other side when I lie down. Bizarre. I don’t know how long he has been floating that way, but I now realize that what I thought were cervical tap-dance routines were actually boxing bouts using my innermost lady parts as a punching bag. This is my punishment for laughing at (okay, and making) all those crude “muffpunch” jokes in college, I’m sure.
Seriously, I had to spend some serious time earlier wiggling around in my chair and walking around to get him to stop trying to punch through my cervix like some crazed intrauterine Kool-Aid Man. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TO GO, LITTLE MAN, IF YOU PUNCH YOUR WAY OUTTA THERE THIS EARLY? HUH?!
I felt some hiccups in there the other day. And today I’m pretty sure I felt my first above-the-belly-button kick. Either that or I had a completely random, tingly muscle spasm.
He’s sleeping and waking in pretty regular patterns that I can recognize. I’m luckily still able to sleep through his kicks at night but it doesn’t really matter, because my ass is out of bed at 5 and 7 to pee the greatest pees known to man. So my sleep is pretty fragmented, which is to be expected. I’m just glad I’m sleeping at all. I usually am dozing off by 2 or 2:30 a.m., up at 5, back to sleep then up at 7, and if I’m lucky, back to sleep until about 10:30. At which point I pee again like I have never peed before in my life. I think my creative muse has been replaced by a urine fairy, who is incredibly generous but not entirely welcome.
This week has been much better than the few that preceded it. I have struggled mightily to get my brain out of the mud and we’ve had some growing pains around here. But we’re going full speed ahead and life just continues to get more complex and interesting.
I’m feeling achey in the pelvis region and my lower back/hips tend to tense up and hurt pretty bad when I overdo things (read: moving furniture, lifting stuff I shouldn’t, staying on my feet in crappy shoes too long, etc.), so I’m moving pretty slow and deliberately most days. (I should note that this lower-back/hip pain is identical to the pain I felt pre-preggo when I would overexert myself. I’ve had that pain for years now. I remember working at my parents’ convenience store and being on my feet all day, and being completely unable to move the next morning without severe hip pain. I went to the chiropractor back then and part of the problem is that I favor one side of my body over the other, making my hips and back do extra work. Bleh.) I’m still waiting for my boobs to get bigger; I am going to feel pretty ripped off if they don’t. I would really like to write about the insanity that is discovering that you have produced colostrum but mercy me, I am feeling a tad too modest at the moment. Did you ever think you’d see the day?