Open letter to all crackheads who may wish to pay me a compliment while I’m in the grocery store
30 Oct
If the crack that you recently smoked is seeping out of your widened, red, wet eyes so that I can spot you from across the room and know instantly that you’re a crackhead who’s about to say something to me, even if it’s as lovely as, “You got a name to go with that pretty face?” do not be surprised if I laugh, embarrassed, and say, “Ha, no!” because I am merely standing there debating giving you my real name. And while I am 80 percent set on telling you I am Jo Ann, I keep quiet while you tell me, rather awkwardly, that your name is [name withheld to protect the drug addled] and that you “hope we can meet again at some other more opportune time.” Which, when you’re a crackhead, probably means in the parking lot while I’m fumbling for my keys (thankfully that did not happen).
God bless crackheads. I’m kind of used to them seeing me tinkle over at Greg’s. Yesterday in Harlem, I actually overheard a crackhead’s conversation with a passerby. He said, “Ooh girl, I want to lick you head to toe covered in chocolate.”
let me guess. kroger, cleveland & poplar…?
I’ve gotten into the habit of simply staring when receiving unsolicited compliments. Sometimes i let my mouth drop open a little. It seems to work in weirding said complimenter out as much as they are weirding me out.