I hate to break down and have a “back in my day” rant over something so trivial, but I am pissed. Adults are ruining Halloween. Don’t even get me started on the idiotic “sexy X” costumes that have pretty much taken over the pre-fab options for women. Of course, I’m annoyed that every costume is pre-fab anyway. What ever happened to making your own damn costume? Or doing something you can’t just buy in a bag?…
May all your pumpkin-snarfing dreams come true.
Wa-POW! I just hit you with a sneak attack of adorableness. Are your knees weak? You might oughta go take a pregnancy test. Yes, even you fellas. If you were unable to withstand this attack of unfiltered Daphne adorability, you might ought to steer clear for a while. I know I’ve got at least one more ULTRA-SECRET SNEAK ATTACK OF TOOTH-DECAYING SWEETNESS coming up. My friends gross me out with how adorable their offspring are.…
Back in my day, you could elect to carve a pumpkin and it would stand tall (if somewhat increasingly moldy and smelly) for weeks. Sure, the sheer force of gravity and effects of oxygen would eventually turn the jack-o-lantern in on itself, turning its face into something resembling a toothless old man, but you felt like you got your money’s worth out of him at least. They just don’t make jack-o-lanterns like they used to,…
He’s never going to vote for your stupid ordinance! I’ve got one more pumpkin and only half an idea what to do with him. I may never top last year’s Ryburn-o-Lantern, but at least my porch is looking all festive and snazzy. Previous jack-o-lanterns: 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 INSTA-EDIT: Uhhhh, can anyone else see a face in the shadow of that uncarved pumpkin up there? Uhhhhh. INSTA-EDIT ADDITION:…
Yes, I have already busted out the Halloween decorations and I am not ashamed. Nor am I done. This is my first Halloween in the house and I do not intend to let it pass with any shred of subtlety.
I find cracking open a pumpkin and scooping out its guts to be soothing and meditative on the level of peeling pomegranates. It’s not always been this way; when I was little, I’d balk at the concept of gutting my own pumpkin and make mom do it. But now? If I want that pumpkin to have a face, I have to get it done myself, guts and all. The process has become so familiar now…
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