This year’s specimen is such a 180 from last year’s Señor Spiketooth Evil and 2004’s Jack Skellington (the pinnacle of my pumpkin-carving achievement). My dad got this year’s pumpkin for a dollar at some stand in Hardin County. Actually, he got eight or so, and I picked out the tall skinny one with the silly stalk, thinking I’d do something non-scary. And boy is this one ever not scary. Next year I’ll carve Satan incarnate,…
When I registered to vote, I don’t recall seeing a clause that said, “Most of the time, political hopefuls will ignore your existence, but every few years you will be seen and treated as a propaganda-absorbing lab rat, upon whom dozens and dozens of increasingly asinine and laugh-inducing paid poltical advertisements will be foisted via cable-enabled televisions. By registering to vote, you agree to marvel every few years at how bad the ads are this…
For Your Consideration: Stranger Than Fiction: And, of course, Borat:
It’s almost that time of year when I can ask my family to buy me shit for no reason! (In other words, my favorite time of year.) I don’t know what this means, but this year the only things I can think of are painfully practical: A stepladder, socks, and an electric blanket. Perhaps I should have a tool set thrown in for good measure.
The doorknob, it mocks me. Howey’s been staying at my place for the past week. He’s good company, even if he tends to be a little needy. From his journal: 2:30 a.m. Move from my perfectly acceptable sleep spot at the foot of the bed to the far more comfortable spot on Lindsey’s stomach. 2:32 a.m. Move to Lindsey’s chest. 2:33 a.m. Shove my paw in her face. Just to remind her that I’m here.…
About 45 minutes ago, I was sitting at this here computer, reading ol’ Sully, when I heard a loud boom somewhere out behind the apartment. And then my power cut off. What’s a girl to do when the power goes off and she’s yet to take a shower for the day? Why, get back in bed, of course. So for half an hour I bundled up and laid in bed while Howey took to the…
There’s a corn maze in Millington. You can print this out and get $2 off. Go at dusk and walk a little while in the light and then spend the remainder of the night shouting “MARCO!!” in the pitch blackness to the rest of your party, who scurried up ahead while you were taking photos. Seriously, it’s a lot of fun.
You can bet that if I suddenly non-sequitur during a conversation, I am either quoting from “Futurama” or “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” It’s just how I roll. Both shows are brimming with quotable hilarity, even if everyone else thinks I’m just spewing gibberish (which I can do without quoting TV shows, thankyouverymuch). I love “MST3K” so much that every time I go into a music/video store, I spend several minutes sulking over by the DVD…
Mercury Cork Delicious gouda A tampon A family of earwigs
From the Huffington Post: Check out the following transcript of a new Republican ad targeting black voters in 10 battleground states this year…: BLACK MAN #1: “If you make a little mistake with one of your ‘hos,’ you’ll want to dispose of that problem tout suite, no questions asked.” BLACK MAN #2: “That’s too cold. I don’t snuff my own seed.” BLACK MAN #1: “Maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican.” This ad…
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