I am tired and sore and irritable and all my shit is still in boxes, grouped in little islands in the new apartment. We got started at 9 a.m. on Sunday and brought the last box up at 9 p.m. last night (that’s Monday for those of you playing along at home). I was supposed to have internet by now but the cable guy came out and couldn’t hook it up because the cable box…
A day late, lots of dollars short. AppetizerChoose one: Popcorn, Pizza, Pretzels, Peanuts, or Pasta.Popcorn. Wish I had some now. SoupDescribe your personality in terms of a particular vehicle.Oh, hell. Seriously? I’m not creative enough to fake it. I don’t know anything about cars of any type, nor do I care enough to ascribe my personality traits to any cars, or vice versa. So let’s just say I’m a lot like my car (2000 Oldsmobile…
All the fire in hell right now could not be hotter than my anger for the incompetent paper pushers at Memphis Light, Gas & Water. First there was this. But they warned us for months that price gouging was to be expected in the winter months. And like a nation of turtles on our backs, we just sat and let the power companies run over us. But today MLGW really outdid themselves with their corrupt,…
Based on what I’ve seen on the wire today alone, we should really be focusing our national attention on Tennessee’s asking what’s the matter with Arkansas, not Kansas. Because people — mostly parents — are going crazy over there. You’ve got these assholes who chained their daughter to a bed, which led to her death when their freaking house burnt down. Then you’ve got this woman who made her 5-year-old son drink sulfuric acid while…
After the aliens invaded, all professional females were turned into cats so they could be cuddled. When I saw the above issue of STEP on my art director’s desk a week or so ago, I cringed. The cover just felt wrong, even to someone who relishes irony. But I took my gut reaction, folded it into a little ball, and tucked it into my pocket because I figured I was overreacting and, besides, I had…
Internet, cable:With the flip of a switch, gone.Three days early, jerks.
A before-and-after composite illustrating Carmex’s magical healing effects. ‘Twas not too long ago that I took some cheap shots at one Angelina Jolie’s cushy but fractured lipscape, saying, and I blockquote: Angelina Jolie has diseased, cracked, pulpy lips that frighten and confuse me. She has the lips of a clueless, sloppy fifth grader in January. The lips of a child who lets her snot drip down her snot trough and then, when the skin has…
It’s true. It’s all logged somewhere, your search terms along with your IP address. And the government wants it (OK, not the IP address part; not yet, at least). Here’s hoping you relegated your really embarrassing searches to Booble. The Forbes story I linked above contains a really laughable point. Well, I laughed. That makes it laughable, right? A public disclosure of exactly how much pornography is on the Internet and how often people look…
Today marks a year in Memphis. At times, the days dragged on with excruciating precision, each minute calculated to live its full life. At other times, an entire month was gone in a blip and I had neither memories nor photographs by which I could remember it. But really, has it been a whole year? I’m looking forward to another year here, but I can’t help but wonder how much longer I’ll be in Memphis.…
The only reason I’m not in bed yet is because I don’t want my weekend to be over. Because I know this week is going to zip right past me, and before I’ve even had a chance to bundle up the toiletries, it will be Sunday and there will be a big U-Haul truck sitting right outside. I want to get it over with, but I’m just not ready yet. We got a lot done…
You must be logged in to post a comment.