[Spy on me, baby, you satellite] We’re back online at home with cable internet, but, to be blunt, my computer sucks shit and needs some major TLC. There are all these random new desktop icons telling me to find the perfect car or increase my profit margin (penis size?) and I never approved any downloads. So my security is all off and will apparently allow any remote computer to put files on my hard drive.…
[We want a band that plays loud and hard every night] Phil distributed some hand-written flyers (on notebook paper, no less) in search of musicians the other day. He’s gotten a couple of calls from guys looking to join or build the next big thing in the ‘Boro. There was a message on the machine last night from a dude who claims to have been in a band in Paris, France, with his twin brother.…
[The kids are alright] Patrick and Amber flew in for the weekend. I had to work every day they were here, which sucked for me because while I was folding tiny pairs of blue underwear with “Sweet” written on the crotch in teeny rhinestones, my pals were off existing independently of me. Harumph. But I’m so glad they came, and I am working my ass off to save money so I can get up to…
[I’m really glad there’s a grasp to grab] Working at Dillard’s is actually not bad at all. So far. It involves a lot of walking slowly through the aisles and around the racks of clothes, picking up after careless adults and greedy children. I catch myself saying ridiculous things I’ve never said before, like, “Y’all just holler if you need me!” and “This little [as in tiny, Britney Spears-inspired] skirt [for a 4-year old] is…
[One more trip and I’ll be gone] Here’s an e-mail forward I know my snarky friends will enjoy. Warning: It’s long and stupid. I’m leaving in the carats (sp?) for optimum e-mail-related annoyance. And because I can’t leave well enough alone, I’ve gone ahead and inserted my thoughts after some of these jewels. Enjoy. HELL YEAH !!! > > > > > > Bet you stand up and sayHELL YEAH! after you read > >…
[Let’s all drink to the death of a clown] I miss my in-home internet. And, sadly, cable. But only because as the political climate of the country heats up, I need some way of tuning in to see what’s up — if only to see what TV news is doing wrong. Again. And I miss my beloved John Stewart. I got a job at Dillard’s and I start Friday. Meanwhile, I’ll practice my most empathetic…
[Another train of thought too hard to follow] The interview in Shelbyville went well, but they only need someone for a day or two each week. That’s not enough to pay the rent. I offered to work more and help with a redesign, but it all comes down to having the money to pay me for those extra hours. The publisher said he’d call me, but it’s been a week, and I haven’t heard anything.…
[But if I had your faith, then I could make it safe and clean] Tomorrow is Amy’s and Phil’s mom’s birthday. Get sloshed! The library is dead. I’m trying to squeeze something out of this brain of mine to write about, either fact or fiction, but I got nothing. Well … almost. Here’s a fact for you: The new Rock Against Bush album came out a week or two ago, and is worth the $7,…
[Observing the process will change it] Green is the new red. I have an interview with the Shelbyville Times-Gazette Monday for a part-time design position. It’s sort of by accident, but what good timing. I’ve been job hunting for a couple of weeks now, and the other day, Cheryl mentioned that the T-G was moving to six days a week and might be looking for extra help. So I sent an e-mail to the editor…
[Pour champagne on a honeybee] Phil and I were hanging out at his mom’s store yesterday, shooting the breeze, when two state troopers came in to get gas. One of them starts giving him a hard time about his drive-out tags being a few days overdue. The other asks us where we’re from. When we tell him Murfreesboro, he says, “Oh, ol’ Rutherford County. Gonna have to start speaking Spanish soon, aren’t you?” Phil tells…
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