[No one knows how low we’ll go] Patrick and Amber came to visit this weekend. We watched all twelve episodes of The Office, a British mockumentary show that is absolutely brilliant. I had never seen it before, but I couldn’t stop watching it. It makes American comedy like Anchorman (one of the worst ten movies I have ever seen) look terribly, terribly sophomoric and sad. I want to put Tim (Martin Freeman) in my pocket…
[Rising with the sons of madness crossing over the road ] Swimsuit shopping makes me feel like cartoon Cathy. I just want to throw my hands up in the flurry of nylon and proclaim my refusal to participate in the cruel game purpotrated on women by the fashion industry. I haven’t bought a swimsuit since I was in 11th grade, and it seems to have gotten more complicated. I remember that even then it was…
[I want to wake up naked next to you, kissing the curve in your clavicle] Phil saved me. I was starting to lose it and he swooped in and saved me, simple as that. He took me crusing in his ultra-smooth new ride, which he loves completely. So I’m sitting here at work while he wiles away the time in my room, which is thick with the stench of bird-death. I can’t help but feel…
[Got a car, got some gas] Phil got a 1996 Buick Park Avenue. I haven’t seen it yet, but here’s what the Internet tells me it looks like: He says he loves it. He has a thing for big showboating cars with hood ornaments. He drove a shit-brown ’69 Chevy Nova when we first started dating and it was pretty sexy on him. AM radio only. Anemic AC/heat. Those nice big bench seats. +++ I…
[Take your armor off, you’re not under attack] Poor Phil. He went home to see his family (and buy his car tags) Tuesday and right as he was getting ready to go back to Murfreesboro, his transmission exploded and left him stranded in Savannah. So now, he’s searching frantically for a new car so he can get back home. His mom could give him a ride, but how is he going to get around while…
[I woke up in mid-afternoon, ’cause that’s when it all hurts the most] sluggish blithe lux wing bittern bowline hack laudanum exposure subtle barkeep discretion rabble smear cooky demote heliocentric crosshatch they’ve heretofore cowherd calligraphy bespectacled binuclear usaf hydrodynamic sweden enemy worthy stench expulsion chlorate empty inherit erviceable administrable refer christopher hines demurred alistair artisan coxcomb scribble aversion skulk buckhorn acreage cockpit quadriceps procure layman bumble appian botfly redtop quart documentation custodian eastbound bela taught…
[Your body breaks, your needs consume you forever] Has Blogger been acting up? Or are these Birmingham News computers just screwy? Probably the latter. I’ve been crashing everything I’ve touched for two weeks. Uh, I guess that makes me the defective unit, not the computers. +++ Saw Farenheit 9/11 this weekend. It didn’t disappoint. Of course, I’m one of those ambivalent naysayers who unabashedly loves the leftist propaganda but worries about some of the misleading…
[Just ’cause you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s there] And sometimes, just because you don’t feel it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Case in point: I was reclining on my bed last night, on the phone with Phil, recounting the day’s events and non-events. Suddenly I catch movement out of the corner of my eye, on my left hand, which was holding the phone up to my ear. I figured it was my hair being…
[Put your hands on the wheel, let the golden age begin] I think my LifeStyle front went over well; I’ve gotten a few scattered compliments. Friday I’m doing the Sunday Money front, and then I’ve been asked to do a KidStuff page and the Ed and OpEd pages Tuesday, which I’ve never done before. So that should be fun. I don’t want to jinx it, but it looks like I’ll be off for the holiday…
[Now you should know by now] A co-worker told me that it rains more in Birmingham than Seattle. I can’t find any statistics to validate that claim, but it’s rained for a straight week now, so I believe him. I haven’t been swimming a single time this summer. So, since I can’t partake of the quintessential summer activity, I pacified myself by buying a big carton of Blue Bell Exquisite Mint ice cream. Sadly, my…
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