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[Rain all day and I’ll stay all day with you] I just came from my cousin’s high school graduation in Parsons. Something like 98 percent of their graduating class is going to college. That’s pretty amazing, considering that Parsons residents look at you like you’re a witchdoctor if you show some hint of knowledge that doesn’t involve tuning up a tractor. I don’t think Keri is going to college, though she briefly considered MTSU. Even…

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[So I’m proposing a swift, orderly change] Originally, I was going to title all my Birmingham blog entries “Summer of Slum,” and assign parts and chapters to each day, week, etc. But I don’t live in the slum, so I can’t do that. Isn’t that a shame? What a waste of a perfectly clever title. Day three is half over. I just now ventured out of my cave to scavenge for nuts and berries and…

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Champagne breakfast for everyone

So I survived my first night. It wasn’t all that bad. The empty bed broke my heart. But I made use of my time wisely, or as wisely as I knew how. I made Amber a CD, and I sketched this really creepy-looking self-portrait. I used my oil pastels in all green and blue-green tones. I look like Frankenstein. A pudgy, long-haired Frankenstein. Today I also went to the tanning bed for the first time…

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If I don’t die or worse, I’m gonna need a nap

I’m here. And I’m unpacked. And I’m exhausted. And I’m on a public computer in the “business center” (it’s a room with one computer and a nice little printer/scanner that will come in handy) because I can’t afford to get internet access in my room. And I’m on my way to Wal-Mart to complete the list of things I either forgot or didn’t even consider bringing. I miss my boyfriend and my ferrets and my…

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Kicking, screaming Gucci little piggy

The party last night was a good time. Lots of people showed up. I learned several lessons. 1. I am no good at social interaction — sober or inebriated — so I need to just shut my piehole and observe instead of make a fool out of myself by trying to have a normal conversation with anybody. 2. Some people will never be happy or comfortable, so I need to stop stressing over the dispositions…

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I’m glad I got my suit dry-cleaned before the riots started

Patrick now joins the ranks of the educated and diploma-holding, so congrats to him. I just came from a big shin-dig at his house, where I watched as awkward divorced halves mingled with one another, as well as with us, the friends, and some of Amber’s family. It was a fun time — good food and yummy birthday and graduation cake. Poor Phillip, Patrick’s brother. His birthday is today, of all days. It’s almost like…

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You don’t have to be so cruel ’cause all I do is a little less than what I can

Not really sure how I managed it, but I got straight As. I was really expecting less, so now that I know I can half-ass it and still slide by, I am sooo tempted to make this my new student existence. Pure and total slacker. I’ve also slacked off of what I needed to get done this week, that’s for sure. But Phil is off today so I will simply drag him around with me…

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She’s shining a light brighter than a million suns

Spring cleaning is impossible when you have ferrets. At the first crackle of a trash bag, they’re trying to dig their way in to salvage the things they’d like to hide. Already I’ve had to retrieve a container of CD-RWs and a few books they have managed to swipe. Felix wants to learn how to read, bless him. Now there’s a big mound of crap on the kitchen floor, and I can hear the little…

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Didn’t add up; forgot to carry the zero

Phil is sprawled on the floor, trying to make an artistic photo of the GameCube’s A/V cords. And when he’s done, he’ll put one of them on the desktop of the computer. Right now, the desktop is a photo he took at work of a package of lighters, all pretty and colorful in a row. I just finished my last two essays for Kubrick class. I’ve been pecking them out since 10:30 this morning. This…

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