I have had a flicker of a hankering to write lately, and I keep coming back to this space (which I have kept locked up off an on for the past few months) and wondering what we are going to do with this blog, which is nearly 20 years old.
TWENTY YEARS OLD.
I’m sitting in a Mt. Juliet coffee shop right now writing a post for a blog that is older than the person one table over. He just looked over at my screen. I feel more than a little ancient right now. Does he even know what it is that I’m doing? Should I ask him what “blog” is short for? Let me make my display smaller. Okay, I think we’re safe now.
Things have been increasingly quiet here for a while for many reasons. I think I’ve written before about having my blog used against me in court during the custody trial to show that I am a bad mother. The chilling effect from having my writing weaponized against me has lasted a lot longer than I ever thought it would. It’s been hard to be too candid, you know? So I sort of started microblogging on Instagram and TikTok like everyone else. And we all know how that turned out. It sucks and we hate it.
Recently I’ve been keeping my posts here behind a password login, but I recently took that down and decided to give myself the space back — if I want it — to write and share any- and everything. Why had I password protected everything? Honestly, I started to get self-conscious about all the stupid shit on this blog. My drunken, idiot 25-year-old brain spewed a lot of nonsense on here back in the day and every time I go back and read, I find something that makes me cringe down deep in my soul. I knew that was a risk when I started blogging, but I feel extra tender about it lately.
That and I have certain family members who like to check up on me, and I would rather just not deal with that, honestly. But I have to deal with that.
Anyway, I have so much to catch you up on. I hope to come back here again soon.