comedy

Texts from the night before last

I submitted this to TFLN, but who knows if they’ll take it. (901): Wur u at Son Cum b4 All (901-1): En Ingles? Thankyouverymuchgoodnight! I don’t think I know who sent this. Do I? Which one of you would dare text the c-word to me?!

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comedy friends

Bonnaroo prep

Amber: We need a bucket and laundry soap. me: yeah Amber: Biodegradable laundry soap. So we can drink it and get fuuuuuuuucked uuuuuuup. me: woooooooooooooooooo *urp* Amber: lols me: i guess my biggest concern is the bathing situation. i get grumpy when i’m dirty and especially when my hair gets greasy. Amber: They have showers. Dorm showers. me: it’s a big fountain, ain’t it? oh really?! weird Amber: And I have dry shampoo And razors…

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comedy friends

‘It stuck’

Nick: i’m working on my craigslist add *ad me: for NSA sexy time? Nick: for my drinking partner to replace morgan me: oh right i want to read it! Nick: http://chattanooga.craigslist.org/stp/1123115465.html me: hahahahaha that’s fantastic Nick: let’s see if anyone bite s me: god, they better Nick: probably just fat girls me: well you need to learn to appreciate fat chicks because they are generally very funny Nick: yeah i’ll settle for a fat girl…

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comedy friends Nashville project 365 (2009)

Day 100: Flight of the Conchords

I’ll cop to it — I didn’t get any decent pictures of the Conchords OR Kristen Schaal, who opened for them (squee!), not only because I was too chickenshit to challenge Grandpa McUsher, who was roaming the rows and threatening to cut people with cameras, but mostly because I can’t take pictures in the dark. I just can’t. Plus I was excited. Whatever — I don’t live my WHOLE life through a screen! Anyway. The…

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comedy webshits

Our wedding invitations are in the mail

Lindsey, It’s time to drop the guise. You have followed the Agency’s authentication script to the letter, and I know now, without question, that you are in fact the Jackal. So let us proceed with the business at hand. There are three coins in the fountain, but each one will not bring happiness. Got it? Scarecrow, aka “Charles” (haha) Play catch-up here. INSTA-UPDATE! We’ve been discovered!

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comedy webshits

Dearest Charles

There was this and then this and now there’s this: Dearest Charles, Many apologies for my much delayed response to your last correspondence. I have been extremely busy these past few long days organizing the local Klan uprising. No one ever really thinks about how much planning, flyering, and Tang mixing goes into your average Klan konference. No one, that is, except the koordinators themselves. And, of course, the kraft-tent organizers. (Just between you and…

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comedy webshits

My sweet prince speaks

After this, simply this: Lindsey, A comparison to Mencia is a low blow indeed, one that I hope has most more to do with that comedian’s penchant for sucking than the fact that he and I share a Latino heritage. The race card is now in play. You Racist, Charles When I got this message, I cracked up uncontrollably for about five minutes. I really don’t think any response I muster could possibly be good…

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