[I’m really glad there’s a grasp to grab] Working at Dillard’s is actually not bad at all. So far. It involves a lot of walking slowly through the aisles and around the racks of clothes, picking up after careless adults and greedy children. I catch myself saying ridiculous things I’ve never said before, like, “Y’all just holler if you need me!” and “This little [as in tiny, Britney Spears-inspired] skirt [for a 4-year old] is…
[One more trip and I’ll be gone] Here’s an e-mail forward I know my snarky friends will enjoy. Warning: It’s long and stupid. I’m leaving in the carats (sp?) for optimum e-mail-related annoyance. And because I can’t leave well enough alone, I’ve gone ahead and inserted my thoughts after some of these jewels. Enjoy. HELL YEAH !!! > > > > > > Bet you stand up and sayHELL YEAH! after you read > >…
[Let’s all drink to the death of a clown] I miss my in-home internet. And, sadly, cable. But only because as the political climate of the country heats up, I need some way of tuning in to see what’s up — if only to see what TV news is doing wrong. Again. And I miss my beloved John Stewart. I got a job at Dillard’s and I start Friday. Meanwhile, I’ll practice my most empathetic…
[Another train of thought too hard to follow] The interview in Shelbyville went well, but they only need someone for a day or two each week. That’s not enough to pay the rent. I offered to work more and help with a redesign, but it all comes down to having the money to pay me for those extra hours. The publisher said he’d call me, but it’s been a week, and I haven’t heard anything.…
[But if I had your faith, then I could make it safe and clean] Tomorrow is Amy’s and Phil’s mom’s birthday. Get sloshed! The library is dead. I’m trying to squeeze something out of this brain of mine to write about, either fact or fiction, but I got nothing. Well … almost. Here’s a fact for you: The new Rock Against Bush album came out a week or two ago, and is worth the $7,…
[Observing the process will change it] Green is the new red. I have an interview with the Shelbyville Times-Gazette Monday for a part-time design position. It’s sort of by accident, but what good timing. I’ve been job hunting for a couple of weeks now, and the other day, Cheryl mentioned that the T-G was moving to six days a week and might be looking for extra help. So I sent an e-mail to the editor…
[Pour champagne on a honeybee] Phil and I were hanging out at his mom’s store yesterday, shooting the breeze, when two state troopers came in to get gas. One of them starts giving him a hard time about his drive-out tags being a few days overdue. The other asks us where we’re from. When we tell him Murfreesboro, he says, “Oh, ol’ Rutherford County. Gonna have to start speaking Spanish soon, aren’t you?” Phil tells…
[I promise that I’ll run away with you] Alien Vs. Predator was awful, awful, awful. I wasn’t aware that they allowed scripts like that anywhere near a film crew these days. Oh, right. I forgot all about American Pie 3. I’ve spent the past week doing nothing besides looking for a job. Does anyone know of any place that’s hiring? I need a part-time job to round out my income. At least I have the…
It was about this time of year in 1999 that a headless body was found in White Oak Creek near the sleepy settlement of Saltillo. It’s an eerie memory. I was sitting outside the video store on Main Street with family and friends, listening to the insects sing as the sun slid from view. We were gossiping in that small-town way, about nothing in particular, when someone starting talking about the dead body some fisherman…
[Beige is the color of resignation] The people here are so freaking nice it kills me. They took me out to lunch today at a kitschy diner called John’s. Decent food on a corporate credit card. America, the beautiful. I have to turn in my name badge, though. I made a photocopy for posterity. In three hours or so I’ll be hopping in the car and heading to Murfreesboro. Bright and early, the kids will…
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