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I don’t get ‘Deal or No Deal’

… but I find it oddly compelling. I mean, is the prospect of winning thousands of dollars in a guessing game so boring that they have to sweeten the deal with uniformly clad sexbots to open up the mysterious cases, each one “nervous” as if she’s personally responsible for the case’s contents? Because I think a game where you can win thousands of dollars with no skill at all is pretty exciting, even without the…

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Bring back those bastard columns!

The news that EJ Mitchell is leaving The Tennessean is not all that surprising, really. From what I can tell having talked to many of the managers and several of the designers there in recent months, I got the sense that the Kool-Aid had been ingested but everyone was politely and diligently feigning acquiescence to its effects because, well, a job’s a job and not everyone can afford to jump ship and move elsewhere. A…

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Saturday-night sun-poisoning blogging

Tonight, just outside the plate glass at work, a glittering procession of rhythmically throbbing automobiles inched west on Union, making its way downtown to destinations that surely involved a lot of heavy drinking. It’s the Southern Heritage Classic weekend — a time when the school-spirited flock to Memphis to root their teams on toward victory, and afterward, head downtown to revel in their triumph or drown their sorrows in booze. Every year it’s the same…

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Ways to make your budding spinster aunt proud

Casey • Make a 98 on your band entrance test and remember exactly which two questions you got wrong• Decide to follow in your uncle’s footsteps and play snare drum, which your aunt sorta wishes she’d played too• Say, “I would never, ever, ever quit band!”* Patrick • Chant “eggs! eggs! chooooocolate!” in the background while your brother tries to speak to your budding spinster aunt on the phone• Say “I like choooocolate” as a…

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An unfortunate anniversary

The other day on one of the BBC shows on NPR, there was a debate about whether or not the U.S. should continue commemorating Sept. 11 or if we should just let it go. Some argued that by making a big deal out of it every year, we’re lending credence to the terrorists’ cause and publicizing their devastating effects for them. Others argued that an attack of that magnitude is something our country can’t just…

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First Lynnfield Place-related post since January

2005 was pretty much Lynnfield Place Sucks Year here at T&G. Sad to see that something so horrible — exponentially worse than shoddy maintenance work and pissy office people — would happen there: Memphis police are questioning two people in the death of MPD Officer Tony Hayes. Officers found a body Thursday night in the trunk of Officer Hayes’ 1999 Lexus at the Lynnfield Place Apartments in East Memphis. Investigators say the man had been…

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When I said ‘I’m a disaster,’ I wasn’t kidding

Remember how I told you that a good part of my day is spent laughing at my own ridiculousness? Today I did something so stupid that I am contractually bound to tell you about it. The story technically starts last night, when I got home from the grocery at 1 in the morning, and started shoving cold stuff into the fridge with reckless abandon. I do this every time I go to the grocery, and…

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