Good things come to those who wait and mop and call and call and mop and wait and cry and mop and call and wait and wait and call and mop and call and wait. The leak is fixed. The sink is repaired. The mold is gone. The cabinet is mostly dry. The smell is lingering faintly, but it will go away if I bleach everything and strategically place Stick-Ups everywhere. I feel much better.…
So Phil brings me home tonight after hanging out with Jamie (we spent the evening watching “Deal or No Deal,” this game show that’s sweeping the nation but that I’d never heard of), and he comes in with me, and the first thing we do is go into the bathroom to see if my prediction (the floor will be entirely covered in water) was right. And you know it was. The two towels I’d been…
Memphis totally dissed John Davis last night. He was in town for the last stop on his solo tour. There were about 12 people in the audience. Four of those were from the opening band, which I’ll talk shit about in a minute. It was embarrassing. And sort of tense, because he put on a hell of a show. He played his fucking heart out. And in between every song, there was silence — not…
The weather is so, so nice. I’m stuck inside, though, because I went to the eye doctor this morning and she dilated my pupils and I had to wear some of those ridiculous “sunglasses” so I wouldn’t go blind upon stepping outside and seeing the sun glinting off of all the cars in the lot. It was the first time I’d ever been to this eye doctor. Her exam room was stocked with all this…
The weather here in Bluff City lurched from chilly to balmy two days ago, nearly completely skipping the comfortable non-weather conditions of a typical spring — non-weather conditions like air that’s unobtrusive and won’t make your hair spasm and crinkle up into a frizzy crown fit for a crazy person. When it gets warm, people lose their minds. For the past couple of days, I’ve been treading along lightly in this world, just observing the…
Remember the kid whose bike — adorned with a This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb sticker — was destroyed by a bomb squad at Ohio University? He’s going to get a sweet new model. ATHENS, Ohio (AP) — Ohio University will reimburse a student for a bicycle that was destroyed after officials mistakenly believed a sticker with the name of a Florida punk band was a bomb threat. The band’s name is This Bike is…
“I make laws based on my bad parenting skills.” There is a particular type of legislative asshattery that steams my beans beyond all beany recognition. It’s the kind purpotrated by lawmakers who try to address their personal problems through legislation or political pressure. John Ford falls squarely in this category for all that legal child-support dickering he was involved in. (I won’t get into the E-Cycle business.) Obviously Ford is in a class all his…
I just saw the neighbor whose balcony is covered with random shit that never moves. I was clicking around the internets when I heard some cardboard rippage and turned to see if it was ferret mischief. I happened to catch a glimpse of her through my open door, which looks directly at her balcony. She was sitting in her doorway, opening some sort of package. I didn’t stare, but it looked like she was about…
Rusty leak water? Or ectoplasm?* The maintenance man came in today while I was at work and surveyed the bathroom leak. He said he can’t for the life of him figure out where the leak is coming from. He might have been drunk, which would help explain why he couldn’t figure out why there was water standing on my floor and under my cabinets. But I think there’s a much more reasonable explanation. Ghosts. *This…
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