Suck it, Japan. Tonight I got off work and trolled the streets for an open liquor store, as Phil was hankering to get sauced in preparation for his 26th birthday tomorrow (today, Sunday — whatever, time nazis). But nothing was still open at 11:30, which I decided to blame on the effing blue laws, whether or not they are actually responsible. What is the deal, Memphis? Think of the economic benefits of allowing alcoholics and…
What I’m about to do is going to make me sound like a real asshole. But I have to. Sidelines, what the fuck? It’s been more than half a semester that you’ve been under the leadership of the person who basically sent the old staff packing because they weren’t, in her view, good enough. So why do you suck so hard? Shouldn’t you have mastered the most basic grammatical functions and newspaper conventions by now?…
It’s been sort of a grisly week in terms of strange, demented, and/or violent news stories. The Dyersburg nanny. The husband-killing Selmer woman. And now this. The story is quite chilling: A suspect in the grisly killings of a Midtown couple, found wrapped in plastic in an attic, died early Friday during a gun battle with police that also killed his father. Police said that Larry Mosely, 29, of Memphis would have been charged with…
Is it okay to reuse the same joke (“It’s okay; I plan to sue.”) when I’m asked the same question (“You know those iPod earphones will make you deaf, right?”) by different people?
The bathroom sink is leaking smelly rust-colored water. Actually, the water it’s leaking is quite clear until it snakes its way through the wooden cabinets and onto the grimy tiled floor, where it pools behind the toilet and then turns a nice translucent burnt orange. I’m not sure at what point it starts to stink.
Mmmm, shredded cow muscle. Today I cooked lunch for myself: taco salad. Okay, it was just meat, cheese, and chips, so it was more like a beefy plate of nachos, but it’s a start. I’m working my way up to adding rice (they were out of my preferred Mexican rice at the grocery) and lettuce (I forgot to get it) and maybe a dollop of Daisy. My concoction turned out relatively well. I could have…
When I was younger and living with my parents, I would inspect every corner of each cereal box as I sat at the table munching on my Pops or Golden Grahams or Honeycomb or Froot Loops. I would count the hidden fruits, fill in the simple crosswords, and answer the trivia questions a hundred times in my head. And I’d do it again and again, same box, different day. And then I moved off to…
The Beale Street Music Fest lineup is trickling in, and its offerings are woefully bad. And by that, I merely mean that there’s no one I’d be interested in seeing, but I have bad taste in music, so don’t take my word as gospel. Friday, May 5: B.B. King, Train, Puddle of Mudd, Zac Brown Band, Marty Casey & Love Hammers, Augustine, Big Star, Billy Gibson, Bryan Adams, Duwayne Burnside, Jason Mraz, Robert Randolph &…
Rough night last night. Conversations and facing reality and making choices and crying. And then, dreams: I. I am riding a bike, taking an unfamiliar trail through the woods. It’s nighttime. I’m cruising along and I start to notice people sleeping on the ground all around me. I’ve stumbled upon a homeless camp. And my dumb ass is riding right through it while everyone’s trying to sleep. But not everyone is asleep, I see as…
Brandon’s got some pictures up of Beale Street and St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans. My favorite is of the little girl in the star shirt grooving with giant tassels on her feet. (I forgot all about St. Patrick’s Day, and somehow still managed to wear a green shirt Friday. Kinda sad, isn’t it?) I did some snooping Googling and found out that the dudes on the green bus are these guys — The Secret Order of…
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