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Friday’s Feast — Impending Ice Storm Doom Edition

Commence chowing down. AppetizerIf you were a color, which color would you be, and why?Something like this, I would hope:Not sure why. It just strikes me as the kind of color I’d like to be. SoupWhen was the last time you went to the doctor, and what was your reason for going? I went to a general practitioner about a year ago for a physical to get this job. Turns out I’m plenty fit to…

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))<>((

On a whim, Phil and I rented Me and You and Everyone We Know a week or two ago. I wasn’t crazy about it (I’m pretty much over the boringly stylized meaninglessness and apathy portrayed in a lot of predictably post-modern hipster art — you know what I’m talking about), but there were parts (the shit fetish kid, obviously) that cracked me up like most overtly funny movies haven’t managed to do in a long…

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Open letter to the asshat who insisted on getting a satellite dish for Apt. 8 (and the ‘satellite technician’ who cut the cable)

Dear Sir or Madam: While many people might understand — even sypathize — with your carnal drive to dump Time Warner and subscribe to a satellite company just so you could order the beefy NFL package*, seeing as Time Warner only offers a piddly NBA package (effing Grizzlies!), I, as the person who inherited the apartment your decision affects, want to raise my voice and offer to a solemn rebuke of your selfish ways, you…

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All wind and quibbles

It’s my week with the ferrets. Their favorite thing to do when I get home and let them out of the cage is for us to all sit in the hallway on the long, shaggy rug Kristin gave us last year as a moving-away gift, me scratching their backs as they stretch and yawn and look as cute as two smelly ferrets can look. (Which is outlandishly cute.) [][][] I am learning to live alone.…

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This blog needs a swift kick in the ass … from Jesus

Jesus was not above delivering tough love when necessary.* It’s not that I’m a slack-ass. It’s just that I can’t get a minute alone with an internet-connected computer. But Thursday is the day. I hope. Unless they tell me my cable box is hopeless. And then Thursday is the day I go on a killing spree. Stay tuned. [][][] Training was canceled today. Our instructor apparently got sick. I question what kind of sick, because…

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Damn you, Gary Wright!

So today is devoted to Dreamweaver and all its delightfully simple offerings. We’re building a site for Marvin’s Gardens, a fictional plant store with a heavy preference for irises. The interface is simple and straightforward, and despite the instructor’s inability to answer any questions that aren’t answered on the sheet in front of him, things are going relatively smoothly. Except for the constant loop of super ’70s hit “Dreamweaver” in my head. That’s getting kinda…

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Another day, another lame jab at Netscape

I’m on my lunch break again. Today we learned how to insert animated gifs onto pages. I put a trio of monkeys beside a waving American flag. It wasn’t my cool post-modern statement on American intellect. It was the assignment. We also learned about the blink tag, which didn’t work for us. I Googled it and found out that it doesn’t work because it’s been deprecated by all but Navigator. So, yeah. I don’t know…

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