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The funny transcends all languages. I thought I was in love with Memphis’s Craigslist page. And then I discovered the Rants and Raves board for London’s Craigslist. And my heart swelled with laugh juice.

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There. I just bought some mid-April tickets to The Schlong to see a girl about a horse. And, as my irrational fears never, ever leave me, I am already fretting in little spurts about the flight(s). Egads, I hate flying. Now I’m wondering if it’s wise of me to fly in the middle of April, when it’s likely to be rainy and stormy and slick and gross. But I wanted to escape the possibility of…

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Today’s Friday’s Feast: AppetizerName one chore you don’t really mind doing.Refilling the candy dish. Just kidding. There is not a single chore I don’t mind doing. SoupHow many times have you moved homes in your life?Once from Hooker’s Bend to Hwy 104, another time when I went to college, again when I moved out of the dorm into an apartment, again when I changed apartments, and another time when I moved to Memphis. And one…

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(From Slate) In a single piece, Dahlia Lithwick of Slate gets so much about the Alito hearings exactly right: And as the two senators trade threats, expressions of feigned outrage, and promises of dire consequences, the real problem with this whole confirmation process becomes clear: It’s a battle of the world’s largest egos. There is only one product they’re trying to move in this four-day infomercial and that product is senators. Senators! Get your red-hot…

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So says this airport security officer, the dolt.

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Someone found T&G yesterday by Google BlogSearching “Jeff Sessions.” This someone happened to be searching using a senate.gov domain, located in Washington, D.C., with a “U.S. Senate Sergeant at Arms” ISP. So I figure this is Mr. Sessions himself, or perhaps another senator or a Sessions aide or intern or something, just dicking around on the internet during Alito recesses (the hit came at 3:36, so I guess that means 4:36 eastern?) or after the…

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I can’t think of anything funnier than hearing Ricky Gervais going apeshit laughing. If you haven’t already, listen for yourself.

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Surely this is the first time the AP has ever gotten the chance to work “hot horny girls” into a story. I’m just left wondering about the choice of punctuation here, and if the meaning changes with or without a comma separating those lucious modifiers.

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1. I still haven’t mailed out the last of my Christmas presents. 2. The office smelled like cat shit all day.3. I am trying to finally enroll in the company’s 401(k) and it occurs to me that I am completely clueless about stocks and bonds and all that crap, and that no amount of helpful stock worksheets are going to coax any knowledge into this stubborn melon of mine.

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1. King Kong was excellent. Predictably, I cried.2. I got three more fillings today. Six more to go! 3. Did anyone else catch the Alito opening statements today? God, what an insufferable circle jerk that crap is. And woe is America, being led by such ineloquent fucktards as Jeff Sessions and Lindsay Graham. Ugh, make it stop, make it stop!4. The third installment in the Irrational Fears Proven Not So Irrational Thanks to a Story…

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