Because it’s his birthday, and because I’m dumb and thought his birthday was last week, I’m giving Patrick his own post. So happy birthday, chum. Everyone can feel free to use the comments to talk about Patrick. *Patrick Chin-chin-chinnery, not my nephew
The red hat project for Grandmaw The gingerbread house, surrounded by Patrick, Tyler, and Casey
I hate Creed more than I have ever hated any band. And I hate a lot of bands. But I reserve a special bottomless hatred for Creed, fueled by fervent declarations from my rednecky high school classmates of, “Creed is the best rock band ever, man!” which is why I danced a little jig when I finally figured out that they imploded and weren’t putting out records anymore. Well, crap. Scott “Christ Complex” Stapp has…
Get this lady some chapstick, STAT! I lost my keys yesterday and finally found them today in my purse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Predictable. But they were in one of the pockets I never put them in, so they were as good as invisible to me until I made an effort to look under my cell phone. It’s not like I wandered around the front lawn for ten minutes this morning, kicking aside pine needles and…
I pulled a muscle in my back today while blow-drying my hair. It really hurts to twist in either direction or bend forward. Yeah, I’m pathetic.
I read some of the dumbest shit in the comments section of random blogs every day. But here’s a comment I found to be particularly insipid in a discussion of the alleged disconnect between media portrayals and soldiers’ perceptions of the war: The media also has a well known “event bias” that effects whether or not an issue becomes part of the national adgenda. A bomb going off is an event. An aid worker getting…
I have three cavities and all my old resin fillings need to be replaced. Also, I’m grinding my teeth to the point where she thinks I should either take stress management courses or get a nocturnal mouthpiece, lest I give myself TMJ or grind them down to the nerve. Going to the dentist and being told I have cavities always makes me feel like a bad person — like the dentist is gauging my moral…
Today I was crafty. I’m talking glue guns, ribbon, feathers, silk flowers — the whole crafty caboodle. I finished one of my grandmother’s gifts — a 3-D portrait of a red hat. She’s totally into the Red Hat Society, so I thought she might like something in that vein. She buys a new red hat pretty regularly, so I assumed there was no way I could buy her one that she didn’t already have. (Incidentally,…
I have so much to do. I shouldn’t be doing this. So I’ll stop, but first I want to issue an order. Go visit this human clock and wile away the minutes while I slave over a hot newspaper layout program.
Their rigid insistance that all things be sunny and happy trumps reality. Gather up two of your best pals and act out this little play. Keep in mind that, while you’re saying these lines, a 26-year-old woman in a wheelchair and her 11-year-old sister are being either smothered by giant balloons or loaded into ambulances somewhere along the parade route. Katie Couric: Now, because of today’s windy conditions, these characters are on video, and if…
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