Throaty McHuskington (tm “The Daily Show”) has apparently gone live and direct into The Moonlite Bunny Ranch, that bastion of legal prostitution in Carson City, Nev., to find out just what goes on in there. The horrors! These women are having sex for money! And shitloads of it! And they don’t seem to be unstable or crazy (though the photograph of them shows that they are going for that pornified Barbie doll look that’s leeching…
Well, this can be enjoyed by anyone who likes their Saturday evening news with a dose of schadenfreude. DANBURY, Conn. — The News-Times has apologized and fired a copy editor who put an offensive caption on its Web page under a photo of a girls’ high school soccer team. The Immaculate High School girls’ team was celebrating a goal scored in a championship-clinching win Nov. 5. The newspaper’s Web site published a photograph of the…
How do you talk to your grandmother about her death? I’ve been through the death of all but one of my grandparents, but I’ve only talked about death with my great-grandmother (my dad’s dad’s mother), who died in February. (Until her death, we had proudly boasted five living generations of Turners.) During the last year of Granny’s life, she pleaded with God and everyone around her to just let her die so she could go…
Liberia has elected the first woman head of state in modern African history. She does not wear flaming red lipstick and she is not what we cosmopolitan Americans would call “hot,” however, so I don’t know how long this will last. But kudos to Liberia for doing what the greatest fucking nation on the planet has still not managed to do: elect a woman to the highest office in the land.
Mom e-mailed me this morning and told me that they took my brother’s dog, Nickel, to the vet, and both his back legs are shattered. This kind of blindsided me because she forgot to tell me Thursday that he had been hit by a car. The good news is that his functions are still functioning, and the doctor said he’s young (he was six weeks old or so when Evan’s girlfriend gave him to him…
I get e-mail forwards all the time from Grandmaw. Some are of the “This is from God” variety, some are of the funny variety. Here’s one I got last night. The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately: 1. High fever 2. Congestion 3. Nausea 4. Fatigue 5. Aching in the joints 6. An irresistible urge to…
I’m told that Mike McMullan, one of our photo editors, won the Today Show’s Perfect Kiss contest, but I can’t find a link to verify. So if you went and voted for him, thanks! I’m sure he’ll enjoy the recognition and his trip to Hawaii.
It occurs to me that if I don’t start making plans and aggressively pursuing them, I’m not going to get anything done for the rest of my life. Or the weekend. So here goes. Shit I need to do by Tuesday: Get the oil in my car changed Make a dentist appointment for a check-up Make a gyno appointment to have this raging blister checked out Make sure everyone knows that last one was a…
For a week or two now, I’ve been meaning to write about how I find Craigslist infinitely amusing because it’s mostly populated by skeevs and pervs and racists who write dumb things and post random photos of breasts. But it’s always been comical for its sheer pathetic nature. Just check out the Memphis Rants and Raves board. God, it’s dumb. But then I saw this story about a mom offering her 4-year-old up for sex…
The Co-Worker Who Sits Next To Me gets calls all fucking day long from bill collectors from every far-flung corner of this great Earth, so when I’m in before The Co-Worker is, I have the fantastic honor of either listening to his phone ring incessantly or answering it and taking a message. Fifty times. Since I have a low threshold of tolerance for phones ringing right fucking next to me, I generally answer the phone…
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