[The bad parent diaries]Phil took the ferrets to his clinic yesterday and found out that Felix has a bladder stone the size of a grain of sand and has probably been in pain (when he pees, at least) for a while. And Gonzo has two dead teeth (one that chipped off when he took a fall from the balcony a couple of years back). Other than that, they’re both healthy for their ages (almost four,…
[Seeing is believing]Five older women leave a restaurant today: arthritic waddling, heart-shaped asses, spider veins peeking from beneath the floral print capris, and salon ‘dos curled close to the scalp. Almost like they planned it. +++A commercial the other night for takemefishing.org: A little boy, imploring you to take him fishing so you can show him how to drive the boat. Another little boy, imploring you to take him fishing because boats are cooler than…
[But there ain’t shit else to do]Jason found out yesterday that’s he’s two hours short of graduating. I don’t understand how this can happen to Amanda, me, and now Jason. We’re not stupid; are we too busy and careless? Or is MTSU advising just really lackluster? I don’t get it, but I wish him the best of luck. Lately, all I do with books is kill bugs. I’m already emotionally invested in about five books…
[Lesbians always win dodgeball*]So, about all those times I accidentally said “Adobe Dreamweaver”? Turns out I was just psychic. Hey, and there’s a new pope. Fight it, fight it, fight it … yawn. It’s Kristin’s birthday! Everybody dance a little jig and take a swig of whatever’s nearby. Also, I hear there’s a new Bobby video out there in editing land. Can’t wait to finally see it. It’s been exactly a year since the last…
[Okay, that was weird]I just caught Amy Sedaris in a skit on Wonder Showzen. She was calling some kid “babykiller.” I’ve seen that show once in full and it blew my mind. The things they convince kids to say are ridiculous. A.S. was also in an issue of The Week recently, talking about her cupcake-selling business. Now if only that damn movie would come out. I bought a bigger, multi-level cage for the ferrets today.…
[Sort of scary … but awesome]I think this is what I’ll be doing for the rest of the night (click the ‘satellite’ link). Want to literally see where I live? Click here and zoom all the way in. Those x-shaped buildings are my apartment complex. I tried to find my parents’ house, but they don’t have imagery for houses in the middle of nowhere, apparently. That way, all the mountainmen holed up in their compounds…
These past couple of days, this annoying little monkey on my back finally crawled down and ran away. I’ve been e-mailing back and forth with Tamara about our late high school shenanigans, when bad blood formed between us for reasons we can just barely recall. It feels good to finally hear her apologize for the things she did to hurt me, and it feels good to finally apologize for the things I did to hurt…
[It was an honest mistake]The other day while showering I was struck with serious guilt over how I had treated this girl I went to high school with. I had shared several laughs at her expense, all behind her back and all in good fun, but it occurred to me that the “good fun” we had was pretty mean in nature, even if it still sort of cracks me up. This is sort of the…
[Somewhere in between a chiropractor and a tree surgeon]DKos reprinted this today, but, since I was going to post about this anyway, I figured, “Why do my own reasoning when I can just quote Bill Maher?” Most of my decisions are made that way, and they all involve Bill Maher. ——-New Rule (from April 8 episode of “Real Time with Bill Maher”)Pharmacists have to fill prescriptions. As our audience seems to already know, more and…
[Things I’ve learned]+ To trust my initial impression of people+ That Memphis Sonics don’t take checks or credit cards+ There’s always something I don’t know about people important to me+ Roach motels make you feel safer+ Credit cards get rejected when you don’t pay on them for a few months
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