[Sinus infections smell like wet metal] I’ve been trying to post all day, but haven’t been able to connect to my FTP server. And because I already have delusions of persecution (gas siphoning, quasi-unfriendly anonymous posts, etc.), I naturally assumed that I was being sabotaged, because the whole world revolves around me, me, me! Until I figured it out and fixed the problem just now. That’s the point where I backed sheepishly into the corner…
[When am I gonna barf?] The body is a wonderland. (Thanks, John Mayer, for pointing that out.) The past ALL times I have drunk, I’ve gotten ridiculously sick the following day. Even when I had just one or two Sex on the Beaches (Sexes on the Beach?). But Nick’s holiday mystery elixer last night, of which I downed three cups, left me completely able to get up this morning and be at work, after 4.5…
[The back of the line is at the back of the line] I’m still a little drunk, so bear with me. Here are some pictures of the party I left just 15 minutes ago. Technology – will the wonders ever cease?!? These two ended up naked by the end of the night. That’s all I’m sayin’. Kristin spent much of her drunk time convincing both Joey and Keller that they are good people. Here’s Keller…
[Choose your own adventure] Today was nice until I had to go to work from 4-9:40. Not a very long shift, but work always ruins the day when it means standing around, wasting brain cells. Beforehand, I actually had time to fix up some more portfolio packets to mail off, go to the grocery, and visit Phil at his store. I felt like I halfway accomplished something. When I came home tonight, Phil had baked…
[Our destinations are the ones we’ve been before] I’m having a lot of trouble lately getting to work on time. Right now, for instance, I’m going to be late because my car won’t start. It has a security glitch and every now and then it thinks I’m trying to steal it. So it cuts off the fuel supply or something and won’t start for 10 minutes. I have to be at work in 10 minutes.…
[Be only anti] I thought we were going to wash away this morning, or at the very least that our bedroom window was going to collapse from the force of the sideways rain. We didn’t. It didn’t. And now the sky is brilliant blue and the wind is in a hurry. I’ll try to stay out of its way. Phil and I put the lights on the balcony last night, finally. Brenda, this lady I…
[Worlds collide, but all that I want is a shady lane] Ugh. I’m in a sour mood. Job, rain, projects, homework, dinged car, PMS. I’m also hungry, and I had plans for Phil and me to finally put up our Christmas lights, but he’s instead got a date with the Parisians before they jet back to that from whence they came. I think I’ll order a pizza, make some counterfeit graduation tickets, and try to…
[Midnight is where the day begins] Just now as I was looking up cliches having to do with midnight, I got a rare pop-up. It offered me a free diamond-studded cell phone. I said maybe. I’m really excited about graduating. I’m ready to begin a new phase in my life where I’m not constantly having to double task all the time, at least not too much. Even though being a full-fledged member of the working…
[Eeeeergh] I had a wreck today. It was my fault; I spaced out and pulled out in front of someone. I think it’s my karmic payback for honking at some Sunday driver the other day. Oy. Phil seems to think the damage may be worse than I had originally thought, when I thought it was just a dent and a scratch and a messed-up fender. It still drives, which is good enough for me. When…
[You likey the funny?] In case anyone cares, the men’s bathroom in the first floor lounge of the library has some hilarious political graffiti scrawled all over the walls. Those crazy donks and ‘phants are at it again. Some points, well-taken, include: + God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. (To which an astute observer concluded, “And complete idiots, apparently.”) + Sean Hannity will burn in Hell. (To which a Sean Hannity fan…
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