Yeah, I’m home and the TV’s on and, you know, why not?
So, so far:
• Sarah Siverman is awesome.
• Jack Nicholson is drunk.
• I’ll be asleep in less than an hour.
• Justin Long just said “fully erect.” I am confused.
• Ooh, they just showed Sacha Baron Cohen. Hott.
• Dane Cook cut his hair. I don’t care if he’s the official douchebag comedian. He’s hott.
• Why are they pimping out all these cars?
• Jay-Z is unattractive and minimally talented, yet really rich and famous. I am unattractive and minimally talented, yet poor and unknown. The universe lacks justice.
• Will Ferrel and Sacha Baron Cohen just made out. I’m going to need a few minutes to myself. In the shower.
I wouldn’t say you’re unattractive!
Not trolling or being weird; just sayin’.
I am unattractive and minimally talented, yet poor and unknown.
Okay, everything but the last three words are untrue.
You are lovely and quite gifted. And hilariously funny. You just don’t have a good publicist. Yet.
Or maybe you need a girlfriend like Jay-Z who can make even straight girls go “Wooo! Hep me!”
Grandefille, “Wooo! Hep me!” That’s funny stuff!
LT, I’m glad I am not the only one that’s pointing out that your claims of unattractiveness are false ones! You always look lovely and exotic, and that’s final! And stop saying you’re only marginally talented! You’re the “giftedest” person I know!
So Shush!
I fourth the above objections.
Y’all are too nice — thank you — but lord, it looks like I was digging for compliments up there and that’s really not what I was trying to do! Let me explain.
What I mean is just that — like Jay-Z — I am kind of average and funny-looking (not to say that I’m necessarily unhappy with the way I look), and that I don’t have any standout talents so much as I have little scraps of talent that, cobbled together, allow me to hold down a job and chase hobbies that keep me happy. Yet he seems just as average, but he’s got all the money and power. Bollocks!
I don’t really know about this Jay-Z or Z-Jay…or whatever you say this chap’s name is, but I DO know that Will Ferrel and Sacha Baron Cohen making out would also send me to the shower.
No…wait.
I was really going to try to go somewhere funny with that, but I ended up freaking myself out. If I were to admit to any sort of man-crushes…which I absolutely DO NOT have…ever…I’d go with David Duchovny who’s name I may or may not have just miss-spelled along with hyphenating Miss-spell whether or not IT needs it.
sigh.
I’m going to go try and force myself to have a lucid dream about Sara Silverman now…which won’t be hard to do…if I could just keep David Duchvny from always showing up and ruining it…in those shorts.
…I mean…