It’s 1 a.m. and I am on the public computer in the intensive care waiting room of Jackson Madison County General Hospital. My sister is one floor up in isolation, fighting for her life. That is a sentence I have never typed and never once imagined I’d have to.
The doctors have been trying to piece together the puzzle for hours and hours now; I’ve been here since 2 p.m. and since then, no one has said definitely what the hell is happening inside my sister that had her in such pain she was talking shit about how morphine is worthless.
I’m writing because I can’t sleep. I don’t have cell reception down here in the ICU cave and I just really fucking need to talk about this. With you, pixels.
This is what is killing her. Killing her, can you believe that? That shit has completely wrecked her; the doctor said it’s a horrible horrible mess and the entire colon has to come out or she could die. It is 2010; I wasn’t aware that such things could just suddenly happen to those of us lucky enough to drink clean water and carry small bottles of Purell with us wherever we go. But my sister works in hospice and she has been caring for a man who has this bug and it is a vicious one and all signs point to it hitching a ride inside her and her nurse practitioner mistaking its symptoms for a UTI and prescribing her the antibiotics that killed the good bacteria and let the evil shit go to town. All it took was a few days to bring a robust, healthy woman down.
And now we are taking it hour by hour and I just don’t even fucking know and I have to stop writing this now because I’m a blubbering fucking mess and there’s some 13-year-old kid on a laptop near me and I want someone to fix this problem but all we’ve done all day and night is wait.
I am so sorry, L. That is some scary stuff there. And I’ve been there/done that in ICU @ the very same hospital, would just as soon never see the inside of that place again.
Will be keeping good thoughts & sending good karma. Let me know if I can do anything for you and hang in there. I feel like she will be okay and pull through (usually a good sign) but I know even so it’ll be a hard road ahead. Thinking of you and all your fam.
jesus christ. hang on, sweetie. i know there’s nothing a bunch of faraway people on the internet can do, but just be aware that a lot of folks are thinking about you and your sister and wishing you well and hoping for the best.
Dammit. This sort of stuff isn’t supposed to happen. Y’all are in my thoughts.
Wow. Just wow. Hang in there and be strong for your sister. I hope things take a turn for the better soon.
Sending good vibes your way.
Good lord. That’s terrifying. Sending all good vibes your way, and please let me know if I can do anything.
Damn. Don’t know what to say. Hang in there.
This is so awful. God, I really hope she’ll be okay and that she won’t have to have that surgery.
Holy shit. Fucking superbugs are scary. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this, and I’m rooting for your sister to pull thru better than expected. Let me know if you need anything at all.
I’m so sorry to hear of your sister’s illness. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
I’m glad you shared your struggles – and it’s really ok to blubber at time like this :)
My thoughts and good wishes are with you… stay strong!
I know it’s not much but I’m just an hour away if you need anything. I am so sorry.
I know you know, but we’re sending all kinds of good thoughts and prayers up for you, your sister and your family. *BIG HUGS* Hang in there.
I can say nothing to help and I suspect that same (more intense) feeling of helplessness is washing over you. I’m so sorry. We all love you. I’m so sorry.
awwww lindsey, i’m so sorry. one more friend from memphis is thinking of you and wishing your family well tonight.
Your sister and all of y’all are in my prayers.