Well I’ll be damned if I didn’t spend a week trying to find a suitable blog skin, and then Blogger went through a redesign and offered this lovely layout, right before I sent them a mail bomb. I must have appeased the Internet gods by e-mailing Amber an unusual amount of times Friday. And hey, John Ashcroft, if you’re reading this, just kidding about the bomb. I might have faked an anthrax scare, though.
So here I am in Saltillo, trying to convince myself to work on these Kubrick essays. I’m not a very good pep talker for my own team. I’m distracted by some new bug bites and the sticky night coming in through the windows, soaking everything, including my pajamas. The insects crawling on the screen are kind of annoying, too. I sat out tonight and watched the sky slide from pale blue to pale pink as the sun disappeared. Things are definitely slower here, but they’re also so disconnected from everything else that I can’t help but feel lonely and isolated, even when I’m with my family or the revolving cast of animals running around.
Things are tense here. My mom is still out of a job, trying to get back into the groove of being sane. My dad is bitter and overworked, making sure everyone understands that he is bearing the family’s cross alone, without any help. He is worried about money as usual and angry that mom doesn’t seem to be. He’s also really angry at my grandmother (his mom) for dating this man who is married. It’s creating all sorts of uncomfortable moments and snippy conversations. I’m forced to just sit and hope they can work it out like adults, but we all know that emotions make that impossible.
I finally got to see my nephews. They are growing up fast. Patrick has front teeth. I can’t remember the last time he wasn’t a snaggle-tooth. Casey’s glasses are perfect and so cute. Patrick confided in me that he and this kid at school play pranks on all the other kids. Casey showed me where he keeps his art supplies I got him for Christmas, even though he really hasn’t used them.
I also went to church this morning. There were 10 people there, and four of them were from my family. We had some lay speaker in lieu of the preacher (who I’ve never met). The best part of his sermon was when he said Jesus “bled Confuciusly.”