[Somewhere I’m not scatterbrain]

Do any of you have relatives who send you page after electronic page of politically motivated forwards? I know Amber’s grandfather sends her conservative racist propaganda all the time, as if one poorly formatted e-mail might convince her that George Bush is a hardworkin’ man just like you and me.

Phil’s mom sends all kinds of propaganda to my Earthlink account about politics and religion and the necessary relationship between the two. Today I received yet another random diatribe from an anonymous author about how much of a conflict of interest it would be for John Kerry to be president because of his wife’s business ties. Uh huh.

Now it’s one thing to ask me to make a political decision based on impassioned non-reasoning (i.e. abortion, same-sex marriage, capital punishment, etc.), but it’s quite another to feed me complete and utter tripe in the name of spreading information and facts. The forward listed several charities Teresa Heinz Kerry gives to and lambasted them, essentially, for assisting terrorists. Then it listed all the overseas locations of Heinz plants, and pled with readers to not support this bitch who employs foreigners and not Americans. “Think of the conflict of interest a President [sic] would have who’s [sic] wife owns business interests in all of these countries…. I don’t think John Kerry’s Vietnam service is going to make people look the other way on this stuff,” the e-mail said in closing.  

I don’t normally pay much attention to this crap, but this one — for whatever reason — struck me as completely uncalled for. So I scripted a reply and forwarded it to everyone Phil’s mom had sent it to. I tried as gently as I could to remind everyone that the Bush/Cheney family practically defines what it means to be up to your elbows in lucrative business ventures that fund your political career. And I told them that I don’t care care that Heinz Kerry is not hanging on her husband’s arm all the time. “In fact, I think it’s great that she’s a businesswoman with a reputation for verbal honesty. I would much prefer a First Lady with a solid personality and strong opinions that might differ from her husband’s than a meek 1950s housewife librarian who worries only about telling her daughters to stand up straight and keep the hair out of her eyes.”

Ah, to alienate yourself from your potential in-laws and their friends. It’s a rite of passage.

Then, to make this post just a smidge longer, I read another forward she sent. And this one takes the cake. It’s a poll you can take to see which candidate shares your values. And I can’t help but think it’s a joke. But it’s not. And the arbitrary statistics at the end are a hoot. Did you know John Kerry hates old people and babies? Good to know.