[We want a band that plays loud and hard every night]

Phil distributed some hand-written flyers (on notebook paper, no less) in search of musicians the other day. He’s gotten a couple of calls from guys looking to join or build the next big thing in the ‘Boro. There was a message on the machine last night from a dude who claims to have been in a band in Paris, France, with his twin brother. He said they left Paris and moved to M’boro just as things were beginning to get big for them over there. He didn’t offer an explanation as to why they escaped the city of lights just as fame was rapping at their door, but I can’t wait to see what he looks like. I’m imagining a mussed, neglected head of hair resting nonchalantly atop a smallish frame adorned with ripped jeans and an ironic T-shirt. Will he wear Converse or Etnies? Will his keys jangle from an industrial clip hooked to his belt loop to signify his identification with the blue-collar working class? Will his tattoo be ironically sentimental or ironically hardcore? Will his nubile, 22-year-old skin show signs of mild distress from his time spent abroad?

We are so deep in the age of ironic detachment it’s not even funny. Which is hilarious.

All kidding aside, I do hope Phil is able to find his musical soulmates soon so he can unleash the creative beast that’s been cooped up inside him since he moved to Murfreesboro. He needs an outlet, and I hope these Parisian twins can provide that for him.

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Hummer has a line of cologne out that Dillard’s is hocking. No word on whether it smells like exhaust or depleted ozone, but I’ll let you know.

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I have to take the academic profile tomorrow, which is a sure sign that I’m going to get out of here soon. Isn’t it? I had a logic test today and I’m not so sure I did well. I guess I’m not good at reasoning because of my crazy woman’s emotions. Curse this femaleness and all its curvy wonder!

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John Kerry won the mock election on campus by less than 10 votes. I’ll take it. Unfortunately, Nader won’t be allowed in the presidential debates. I think he should totally be in there, but I really wish he would back out and get behind Kerry for the good of this country and the world. He can’t possibly argue that Bush and Kerry are so similar that either would be as bad as the other. He needs to recognize the dire importance of removing Bush and then working toward a more progressive agenda than Kerry’s moderate one. Baby steps, people.