Look at me,
Who am I supposed to be?
Who am I supposed to be?
Look at me,
What am I supposed to be?
What am I supposed to be?
Look at me,
Oh my love, oh my love.
Here I am,
What am I supposed to do?
What am I supposed to do?
Here I am,
What can I do for you?
What can I do for you?
Here I am,
Oh my love, oh my love.
Look at me, oh please look at me, my love,
Here I am – Oh my love.
Who am I?
Nobody knows but me,
Nobody knows but me,
Who am I?
Nobody else can see,
Just you and me,
Who are we?
Oh my love, oh my love.
Oh my love…
John Lennon, “Look at Me”
+++
Yesterday was an adventure. Amber and Patrick made it in at something like 6 a.m. and neither got to sleep before the ceremony. Both partied well into the night on no sleep. Almost my whole family came up to celebrate. We fought crazy traffic to eat at Aquarium at Opry Mills. It was really nice but super expensive, and the crappiest part ever is that my brother ended up in the hospital last night, hooked up to IVs, with antibiotics and other meds pumping through his system to fight his raging food poisoning. I think he’s okay now, though.
We didn’t get to see Polar Express on the IMAX because it was already sold out by 4:30. My cousin cried and I felt horrible for not using that little lifesaver Fandango. Oh well, they got to race in the NASCAR simulators and go in the Bass Pro Shops, so that was fun for them. I would like to show them their first IMAX sometime soon, though.
The Kids met up last night at Amber’s old apartment and hung out for a while. Presents were exchanged, drinks were drunk, things were done in past tense. It was a fun time, though a little on the bittersweet side when the alcohol started making me sensitive and sentimental. The people I surround myself with — my family, my friends — are amazing and I will miss them very much. It’s sort of starting to sink in that the stability and closeness we shared this time last year or the year before may never really exist again. It’s weird, because even though I moved to Birmingham this summer, and then Patrick and Amber moved to New York at the beginning of August, I always clung to the notion that we would all be back in Murfreesboro within a year or so, working together somewhere, and playing together in our spare time. I know that was never rational, but it was easy to pretend when it wasn’t me who was moving away. We’ve been through a lot of changes in the past year and each of us must grow in our own way, which means relationship shifts and geographical shifts that will inevitably change the nature of our friendships. I have to accept that, but it doesn’t make it sting any less. Saying “Well, I guess that’s part of life” is becoming a hobby of mine.
Now that your heart is good and tender from my melancholy musings, here’s a picture that might make your aorta melt. Unless you’re Nick.
I understand the badness, dude. Still, I don’t think it’s irrational to cling to the crack dream that we’ll all end up in the same boat together. It might sound cheesy (I’m all caught up in the emotion after reading that post), but distance doesn’t have to change the foundation of our friendships. Maybe the peripheral details, but not the foundation.
Moving can make things seem so…ending. But they aren’t. Changing, but not ending. I’m so there for you, the Linners. My footprints are all over this road you’re fixing to travel and I’ll jump large craters full of hot lava to help you through, just like you still do for me.
Besides, I hear Memphis is a great place for a starving writer to work and play. Wink.