[Carjacking is a cry for help]

Finally made it to Saltillo. We Christmas eved at Grandmaw’s. Ate too much cheese and crackers and cocktail weenies. Had fun watching the kids be silly and young. Cringed at the obligatory homophobia and racism circulating through the redneck ranks, young and old. Thanks to the icy road conditions (and my sister landing her car in a ditch), women drivers received some good-natured ribbing alongside the gays and the blacks. My dad finally got to meet my sister’s boyfriend, and they seemed to get along. Both of them are good old boys, and they’re nearly the same age.

Casey, Patrick, and Kris are staying here tonight, so we’ve had fun playing Santa. Since they already know he’s not real, I suppose they won’t care that their gifts were wrapped by Santa’s dumbest elves — the ones who accidentally smudge the name cards and use tape like a 5-year-old with ADD.