Because it’s his birthday, and because I’m dumb and thought his birthday was last week, I’m giving Patrick his own post.
So happy birthday, chum. Everyone can feel free to use the comments to talk about Patrick.
*Patrick Chin-chin-chinnery, not my nephew
Patrick makes the best fried chicken! None of that kitchen fresh bullshit – just Kentucky fried, baby!
I fucking hate Kentucky Fried Chicken. They have the nastiest chicken. It’s all deep-fried in a bucket of grease (as is most fried chicken) but its grissles of meat are all slimy and shit. Patrick’s cool, though.
I hate Patrick.
Oooh, if he ever reads this in a few months, he is going to kick your ACE!
God, there’s a picture worth some blackmail in several years.
Yeah, just wait until he runs for public office. The tabloids will love it!
First, he won’t ever read it.
Second, I don’t hate Patrick. I meant to say I hate chicken. Joey got me all riled up and I exploded in a frenzy of hatred. Something just brushed my leg! I’m all turned around!
Third, I’ve got better blackmail pictures than that one.
I’ve seen one of them. I have a better one, too, but I decided not to post it in case he ever wants to be Chief Justice.
And you KNOW he will.
Boys.