Monday marked a quarter-century I’ve been using up this Earth’s precious resources and processed cheeses. I’m finding (among other clich\u00e9s) that life doesn’t ever get any easier. Ever. That things you think you’ll figure out by the time you’re X years old, you gradually understand less and less, to the point where every momentary distraction can become an existential crisis. Your relationships and cars sputter and stall and break down. You look for new ones and decide that maybe you ought to hoof it on your own. And then you admit (quietly, into your wine glass while the TV flickers mere feet from your face) that loneliness ain’t really your bag, but it’s worth getting used to if it cuts down on the amount of times you feel completely humiliated by people you thought cared about you. You begrudgingly accept that, despite your little-girl fantasies of a future brimming with cosmopolitan people milling about your comfortable-yet-fashionably furnished home (with real wood accents!), sipping martinis and listening to dusty blues records and making each other laugh, you’re going to have less and less people in your life the older you get. And probably more cats. No one tells you that when you’re lining up your Barbies and giving them exotic names and ratty hairdos, do they? We all just assume that, as we stroll through life, lovely people will stick to us like cockleburrs clinging to socks. And that by the end of the journey, we’ll be able to pick them off, one by one, and keep them in a little jar, each one reminiscent of a particular path or clump of flowers or mound of roadkill along the way. Each one worth keeping. But that’s not how it happens at all. We walk uncovered, wincing at every prick and bramble. We keep nothing and no one.<\/p>\n
And we learn to cope.<\/p>\n
This year I discovered my first age spot. It’s under my left eye. It’s fairly faint, almost like my eye makeup smudged and went unwashed for long enough to stain my skin. My face has absorbed a lot of bullshit these past couple of years (as well as a lot of extraneous calories). The crescents under my eyes have swelled to the point where I am leery of stark overhead lighting, and I sometimes wonder if you could just stick a needle in there and suck out the badness.<\/p>\n
On the whole, 2006 has been a pile-on of sucky life lessons and close shaves with insanity, interspersed with moments of quiet beauty and solemn satisfaction. And laughter. Always with the laughter.<\/p>\n
I’ve tried to redefine a romantic relationship, extract myself from a couple of toxic “friend”ships, I’ve gotten my ego punched by people I, for some reason, didn’t think would do that to me, and I lost a great little furry friend. It’s not been pretty. But, hey, these things happen, don’t they? I’ll shed more skin than this before it’s over.<\/p>\n
The year brought me opportunities to meet amazing people I never would have met otherwise. People who just know me from this blog actually came to Memphis and called me up to meet me and have lunch with me. Inconceivable! And they are truly amazing people I am lucky to have met. These internets, they do marvelous things. <\/p>\n
The year also gave my family time to pause and reflect on the kindness of people who want to help make things right after a disaster. The number of people who showed concern about my sister’s family after their house fire has been amazing. (They are doing well, incidentally, and are closing on a house as we speak.) The same people in this world who can be so bad to one another are often so, so good. (The soul is a fucking mystery.)<\/p>\n
2006 was the year I finally accepted Memphis as my home. January will mark two years here. You might recall that I absolutely hated it during the first year. I blame the location of my apartment: Way out east in a busted-ass townhouse with no friends and a shaky relationship. Since moving I’ve taken to Midtown like you might expect; it’s more my style and I’ve got a great deal of freedom living alone. Ashley started working at the paper and her similar hours and off days actually meant I had someone to hang out with when the occasion arose.<\/p>\n