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<\/a><\/p>\nWhen a group of people get together, it’s inevitable that conclusions will arrived at. Last night we conjured some universal truths, including:<\/p>\n
\u2022 Britney Spears’ comeback popped and fizzled out the instant the camera focused on her crusty-ass hair extensions. And the world was simultaneously saddened and relieved, not unlike the feeling you get after vomiting, that she has lost all her mojo and will surely be dropping off the face of the planet soon. (Idolator’s liveblogging of the VMAs<\/a> is priceless: There’s a Chris Hansen reference AND a Strangers With Candy<\/i> reference!)<\/p>\n \u2022 The vase in my bathroom looks like a bong.<\/p>\n \u2022 Justin Timberlake is loved by all. <\/p>\n \u2022 But he’s no David Duchovny. <\/p>\n \u2022 My cats are pretty much the best cats ever.* <\/p>\n \u2022 That Chris Brown kid does Michael Jackson better than Michael Jackson does Michael Jackson. <\/p>\n \u2022 We are all too old for the VMAs, which frightened and confused us beyond repair.<\/p>\n \u2022 Rum drinks are good.<\/p>\n \u2022 Shooting Limoncello<\/a> is like shooting a lemon drop on crack.<\/p>\n \u2022 No one wants his\/her damn picture plastered all over my blog (losers!) so I have to give you fruit instead. **cough cough<\/a>**<\/p>\n