{"id":1706,"date":"2007-10-24T07:13:00","date_gmt":"2007-10-24T07:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/?p=1706"},"modified":"2007-10-24T07:13:00","modified_gmt":"2007-10-24T07:13:00","slug":"my-car-is-now-officially-a-hooptie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/my-special-stupidity\/my-car-is-now-officially-a-hooptie\/","title":{"rendered":"My car is now officially a hooptie"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Actually, it only meets three of the criteria for hooptie-dom set forth by this <a href=\"http:\/\/www.urbandictionary.com\/define.php?term=hooptie\" target=\"_blank\">reputable source<\/a>. (Must open door at drive-thru because window won&#8217;t roll down, blinkers won&#8217;t work, and tape deck eats all tapes, for those of you keeping score at home.)<\/p>\n<p>But tonight my car threw me for a loop. I was leaving work and noted how chilly and damp outside it was, and how the last time my window ever rolled down it was cold and snowing. So, just for fun, I pushed the &#8220;down&#8221; button. And sure enough, the window \u2014 which handn&#8217;t budged in probably a year \u2014 began going down. And then I heard a crunch and a screech and all kinds of bad sounds as the window began rolling off the track and setting itself awkwardly and askew in the door.<\/p>\n<p>I freaked out, of course, thinking the window was either going to fall out onto the street or shatter into a million pieces and send glass searing through my eyeballs and neck artery. Neither of those tings happened. I managed to keep it upright enough to not fall out as I made the drive to Phil&#8217;s, where he helped me get it back on track and taped up so the cold and rain couldn&#8217;t get in the crack. <\/p>\n<p>This comes less exactly a week after I realized my passenger-side door no longer locks. <\/p>\n<p>I am reluctantly placing myself in the market for a new car. Starting &#8230; now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Actually, it only meets three of the criteria for hooptie-dom set forth by this reputable source. (Must open door at drive-thru because window won&#8217;t roll down, blinkers won&#8217;t work, and tape deck eats all tapes, for those of you keeping score at home.) But tonight my car threw me for a loop. I was leaving work and noted how chilly and damp outside it was, and how the last time my window ever rolled down&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[26,68],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1706","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-my-special-stupidity","category-randomosity"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-rw","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1706","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1706"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1706\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1706"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1706"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1706"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}