{"id":1717,"date":"2007-10-30T15:56:00","date_gmt":"2007-10-30T15:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/?p=1717"},"modified":"2007-10-30T15:56:00","modified_gmt":"2007-10-30T15:56:00","slug":"open-letter-to-all-crackheads-who-may-wish-to-pay-me-a-compliment-while-im-in-the-grocery-store","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/randomosity\/open-letter-to-all-crackheads-who-may-wish-to-pay-me-a-compliment-while-im-in-the-grocery-store\/","title":{"rendered":"Open letter to all crackheads who may wish to pay me a compliment while I&#8217;m in the grocery store"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If the crack that you recently smoked is seeping out of your widened, red, wet eyes so that I can spot you from across the room and know instantly that you&#8217;re a crackhead who&#8217;s about to say something to me, even if it&#8217;s as lovely as, &#8220;You got a name to go with that pretty face?&#8221; do not be surprised if I laugh, embarrassed, and say, &#8220;Ha, no!&#8221;  because I am merely standing there debating giving you my real name. And while I am 80 percent set on telling you I am Jo Ann, I keep quiet while you tell me, rather awkwardly, that your name is [name withheld to protect the drug addled] and that you &#8220;hope we can meet again at some other more opportune time.&#8221; Which, when you&#8217;re a crackhead, probably means in the parking lot while I&#8217;m fumbling for my keys (thankfully that did not happen).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If the crack that you recently smoked is seeping out of your widened, red, wet eyes so that I can spot you from across the room and know instantly that you&#8217;re a crackhead who&#8217;s about to say something to me, even if it&#8217;s as lovely as, &#8220;You got a name to go with that pretty face?&#8221; do not be surprised if I laugh, embarrassed, and say, &#8220;Ha, no!&#8221; because I am merely standing there debating&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[156,254,319,68],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-midtown","category-open-letter","category-people-are-strange","category-randomosity"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-rH","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1717"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1717\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}