{"id":1842,"date":"2008-01-14T14:28:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-14T14:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/?p=1842"},"modified":"2008-01-14T14:28:00","modified_gmt":"2008-01-14T14:28:00","slug":"i-should-be-asleep","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/randomosity\/i-should-be-asleep\/","title":{"rendered":"I should be asleep"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"http:\/\/bp2.blogger.com\/_4dy-Mg8i7XU\/R4tyqt038kI\/AAAAAAAAAJ4\/gshWeLOae7I\/s1600-h\/greer.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;\" src=\"http:\/\/bp2.blogger.com\/_4dy-Mg8i7XU\/R4tyqt038kI\/AAAAAAAAAJ4\/gshWeLOae7I\/s200\/greer.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\"id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5155340276637102658\" \/><\/a>But I&#8217;m not. And I just chuckled my way through thirty minutes of a soft-focus 61-year-old Barbie doll telling me I could and should lose a pant size in fourteen days by doing <i>no-movement exercise<\/i>. <\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/shapelysecrets.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Let that sink in for a bit<\/a>. <\/p>\n<p>At the risk of sounding like a broken MP3, <a href=\"http:\/\/theogeo.blogspot.com\/2006\/08\/things-i-saw-on-tv-recently.html\">I<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/theogeo.blogspot.com\/2005\/08\/it-slices-it-dices-and-it-entrances-me.html\">love<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/theogeo.blogspot.com\/2007\/03\/pretty-much-best-infomercial-ever.html\">infomercials<\/a>. But this one ranks at the top for trying to sell me something without actually telling me <i>what the frick it is<\/i>. I mean, it looks like you pay <s>$60<\/s> no wait, just $40! to get a couple of workout DVDs (which must be riveting because they involve <i>no-movement exercise<\/i>), an hourglass (seriously, an hourglass?) to track your seven-minute <i>no-movement<\/i> workout, and a blue pouch in which to cart around your DVD and hourglass. Mmmkay.<\/p>\n<p>You don&#8217;t even get the nifty keytar-looking gadget in the picture of Greer over there. That&#8217;s some other contraption she dreamt up while overdosing on botulism injections one day, I guess.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>But I&#8217;m not. And I just chuckled my way through thirty minutes of a soft-focus 61-year-old Barbie doll telling me I could and should lose a pant size in fourteen days by doing no-movement exercise. Let that sink in for a bit. At the risk of sounding like a broken MP3, I love infomercials. But this one ranks at the top for trying to sell me something without actually telling me what the frick it&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[68],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1842","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-randomosity"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-tI","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1842","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1842"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1842\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1842"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1842"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1842"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}