{"id":2053,"date":"2008-08-04T12:13:31","date_gmt":"2008-08-04T17:13:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/?p=2053"},"modified":"2008-08-04T12:15:52","modified_gmt":"2008-08-04T17:15:52","slug":"in-which-i-enjoy-preparing-food-until-the-universe-reminds-me-that-i-have-no-business-doing-so","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/movies\/in-which-i-enjoy-preparing-food-until-the-universe-reminds-me-that-i-have-no-business-doing-so\/","title":{"rendered":"In which I enjoy preparing food until The Universe reminds me that I have no business doing so"},"content":{"rendered":"

SS<\/a> visited this weekend, and, hoping to counteract the heaping amounts of awfulness we ingested at IHOP (or, I-Poh those of us who may be dyslexic), we went to the grocery story Sunday night to stock up on semi- to mostly healthy things to make for dinner. We settled on the ingredients for some grilled chicken wraps and I decided that I wanted to try to recreate the roasted grapes<\/a> I had at Lesley’s house a couple of months ago.<\/p>\n

I can’t cook, but I sure as hell can smother things in oil and sprinkle salt on them. So I figured it would be an easy enough contribution to the menu. <\/p>\n

And look how pretty: <\/p>\n

\"roasted<\/a><\/p>\n

Except, when I went to put the pan into the oven, I realized that the pre-heating it should have been doing while I was preparing the grapes, uh, hadn’t been done. And also, was that the smell of gas? <\/p>\n

So it turns out the pilot light was out, and there I was with a pan of slimy, salty grapes and no idea how to relight the pilot light (I have seen my building manager do it before, and it involves a complicated series of Catholic prayers and handstands). So we tried putting a grape on the grill to see how it would act. It tasted like chicken and didn’t achieve the consistency that oven roasting would have. Our Hail Mary? The microwave. <\/p>\n

Three guesses how that turned out.<\/p>\n

We ate our wraps and watched a couple of movies \u2014 Dead Birds<\/i><\/a> and Battle Royale<\/i><\/a>. Dead Birds<\/i> had some pretty creepy moments, many of which made us spew synchronized profanity. I’m not sure I could explain the story to anyone, though. Civil War. Bank robbers. Racism. Demons. Demons with bad teeth. Furniture upside down, tied to the ceiling, which freaked us out.<\/p>\n

And Battle Royale<\/i> is a great flick, which I saw for the first time back in college. I love how the preposterousness of the storyline (the Japanese government is so annoyed with uppity children that it kidnaps several of them and dumps them on an abandoned island and makes them play a game in which only one of them is allowed out alive, or else they’ll all be killed) is completely ignored and everyone’s like, “Got that? Good! Now get to killing!”<\/p>\n

It’s beautiful in its simplicity, really.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SS visited this weekend, and, hoping to counteract the heaping amounts of awfulness we ingested at IHOP (or, I-Poh those of us who may be dyslexic), we went to the grocery story Sunday night to stock up on semi- to mostly healthy things to make for dinner. We settled on the ingredients for some grilled chicken wraps and I decided that I wanted to try to recreate the roasted grapes I had at Lesley’s house… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[66,32,21],"tags":[2253,2177,2163,2159],"class_list":["post-2053","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-friends","category-movies","tag-cooking","tag-food","tag-friends","tag-movies"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-x7","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2053","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2053"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2053\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2053"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2053"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2053"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}