![\"mountain](\"http:\/\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3241\/2948983400_93e50d686f.jpg\")
<\/a><\/center><\/p>\nto his owner, “Scream at me and then spray me with water
several times until I run into another room,
unsure of what just transpired.”<\/i><\/font><\/center><\/p>\n
My boy cat is having an identity crisis. He thinks he’s a godforsaken mountain goat. <\/p>\n
Exhibit A:<\/b> Once again (he’s done this twice before, and has apparently not heeded my past warnings<\/a>), he has chewed through the phone cord, cutting off my internet access. (I have DSL. It’s a long story. You can read about that here<\/a> if you’re wondering why I don’t have cable or wireless.) He did this because I only fed him and Sally a can of wet food in the morning, planning to feed them again when I got home after work. Apparently he was so angry at the prospect of having to subsist on half a can of wet food (okay, let’s face it \u2014 three-fourths of a can; there is no way he let Sally eat half) that he just couldn’t control his wanton cordlust. Either that or he was punishing me. I don’t see why it can’t be both. <\/p>\n Exhibit B:<\/b> See Fig. 1. That little sumbitch somehow jumped on top of my kitchen cabinets, which are like a hundred feet tall, and perched long enough to reach over and knock down my curtains. Just, you know, for shits and giggles, I guess. Cuz he can. When I heard the commotion and came to check it out, he just sat there on top of the counter and looked at me like the groundling scum that I apparently am. Climbing ever higher, being ever more obnoxious and still so insufferably adorable \u2014 that’s my Jack. <\/p>\n Okay, that’s all I got. Those two exhibits. I think they make my case quite well. <\/p>\n I really only bring this up so I can post gratuitously cute cat photos, of course. What? I have writer’s block!<\/p>\n Fig. 1: The domestic cat performs an elaborate dance that means, to his owner, “Scream at me and then spray me with water several times until I run into another room, unsure of what just transpired.” My boy cat is having an identity crisis. He thinks he’s a godforsaken mountain goat. Exhibit A: Once again (he’s done this twice before, and has apparently not heeded my past warnings), he has chewed through the phone cord,… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[206],"tags":[2241],"class_list":["post-2125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yes-im-posting-about-my-damn-cats-again","tag-cats"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-yh","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2125","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2125"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2125\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"grapelust\"](\"http:\/\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3084\/2857085833_a4222222bc_m.jpg\")
<\/a> ![\"sally](\"http:\/\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3046\/2910030804_db1e09ee0f_m.jpg\")
<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"