3-something p.m.:<\/b> I notice that the analog clock on the wall near the design desk is way behind (or ahead, I guess). It reads 9-something.<\/p>\n
5 p.m.:<\/b> The clock begins making a pained humming noise, as if its insides are revving up out of madness. I give the clock a mean sideways glance and say, “That is gonna have to stop or I am going to find somewhere else to work.” I continue giving the clock my very special go-to-hell look, and my boss, sitting nearby, tells me to “cuss it out.”<\/p>\n
5:02:<\/b> The clock hands begin moving, spinning slowly, ticking off the minutes as though we’re in a time-lapse movie. My boss insists that the clock will right itself and stop spinning once it reaches the correct time.<\/p>\n
5:07:<\/b> The clock passes 5:07 and I realize that this idiot thing might actually think we care whether or not it thinks it’s a.m. or p.m. and keep going until the next 5:07. HI, CLOCK? WE KNOW IT’S NOT A.M. BECAUSE WE ARE TROLLS WHO WORK AT NIGHT, GAH.<\/p>\n
5:09:<\/b> I am glaring at the stupid thing now, certain that this pass past 5:09 will be its last. It trucks on past the big 2 and I mutter many curse words. Okay, more like yell.<\/p>\n
5:45:<\/b> The clocks have been spinning now, clicking their hands noisily in a full circle again and again, since 5 o’clock. I go to the restroom to pee and see a giant wet spot on the carpet in front of the door, directly beneath a sprinker. I move on, relieve myself, contemplating how subtly weird things can be. I return to my desk to see that the clock has still not stopped spinning. I am forced to believe that this is some kind of heavy-handed commentary by the universe about how I am wasting my life.<\/p>\n
6:07:<\/b> The clock stops moving. It reads 6:02, but I’ll fucking take it.<\/p>\n
8:59:<\/b> The clock gets hung and begins making that familiar humming noise.<\/p>\n
9:<\/b> The hands begin making their way around the face. Clickclickclickclickclick. My left eye begins twitching. Hardcore.<\/p>\n
9:05:<\/b> Clock reads 10 ’til 2.<\/p>\n
9:05:25:<\/b> Clock reads 2:10<\/p>\n
9:10:<\/b> Co-worker offers me Lexapro so I’ll stop freaking out about the clock. I inform him that it’s unnecessary; I’m more than happy to self-medicate at home.<\/p>\n
10:11:<\/b> Clock stops at 6:01. My eye twitches unhappily.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
3-something p.m.: I notice that the analog clock on the wall near the design desk is way behind (or ahead, I guess). It reads 9-something. 5 p.m.: The clock begins making a pained humming noise, as if its insides are revving up out of madness. I give the clock a mean sideways glance and say, “That is gonna have to stop or I am going to find somewhere else to work.” I continue giving the… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[101,57],"tags":[652,650,651,2172],"class_list":["post-2182","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-its-true--im-crazy","category-work","tag-annoyances","tag-clock","tag-time","tag-work"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-zc","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2182","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2182"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2182\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2182"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2182"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2182"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}