{"id":2307,"date":"2009-03-09T23:34:24","date_gmt":"2009-03-10T05:34:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/?p=2307"},"modified":"2009-03-09T23:36:31","modified_gmt":"2009-03-10T05:36:31","slug":"day-68-bro-b-q","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/musings\/day-68-bro-b-q\/","title":{"rendered":"Day 68: Bro-B-Q"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Day<\/a><\/p>\n

If I have but one talent, it is running decent things into the ground until every drop of goodness have been squeezed out of them. It’s a talent and I’ve always had it and I don’t suspect I’ll ever really get tired of flexing it. If brobelfish.com doesn’t get up and running soon, I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself. <\/p>\n

I spent the day near windows, feeling the breeze and contemplating every molecule of my existence until nothing made any sense anymore and then suddenly I was eating half a barbecue sandwich and telling poor Dave<\/a> about my latest family breakdown. Things are not great, they’re never great anymore, but sometimes they are manageable and right now they are only manageable because I am not the one doing the managing. I am the one who got away. I am the one nobody keeps clued in because she has a different area code from everyone else. Because she doesn’t need the stress, supposedly. Because what would she do with the burden of family reality? <\/p>\n

But I am also one who wants to fix it, and I am one who feels utterly helpless. And clueless. And useless. <\/p>\n

And I know things aren’t meant to get any easier, so I need to figure out how to navigate this frothing river before my shitty little kayak overturns and I’m left trying to recall how to swim, since I haven’t had to so in so, so long.<\/p>\n

I’m reading a book<\/a> right now that throbs with the beauty of mundanity and the constant ache of life itself. I am watching my boy cat cuddle up with my camera and lick it in places it never knew it wanted to be licked. I am listening to planes taxi overhead. I am smelling the remnants of the skankiest of rotel mixes in my slow cooker. I am remembering how it felt to be me this time last year and how much I have improved, traded up since then. I am feeling my lower back pulse with a dull pain that has yet to be pinpointed. I am trying to make sense of the fact that this year is very nearly a quarter of the way over. I am thinking about dentist appointments and gym visits and self-discipline. Demands and love and mulligans and confusion. <\/p>\n

Spring always opens a well inside me. I never feel particularly prepared for it, even though I long for it all year. <\/p>\n

[Project 365<\/a>]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If I have but one talent, it is running decent things into the ground until every drop of goodness have been squeezed out of them. It’s a talent and I’ve always had it and I don’t suspect I’ll ever really get tired of flexing it. If brobelfish.com doesn’t get up and running soon, I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself. I spent the day near windows, feeling the breeze and contemplating every molecule of… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[32,31,683,85],"tags":[2163,828,2162,2149,463,889],"class_list":["post-2307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friends","category-musings","category-project-365-2009","category-the-family","tag-friends","tag-love","tag-musings","tag-project-365","tag-random","tag-stuff"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-Bd","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2307"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}