{"id":2345,"date":"2009-04-04T00:40:20","date_gmt":"2009-04-04T05:40:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/?p=2345"},"modified":"2009-04-04T00:40:20","modified_gmt":"2009-04-04T05:40:20","slug":"how-long-should-i-keep-this-going","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/webshits\/how-long-should-i-keep-this-going\/","title":{"rendered":"How long should I keep this going?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was alerted to this nugget of forced hilarity<\/a> over at Knoxville Metropulse yesterday. I was a flaming bitch on wheels yesterday, so reading that really, really annoyed me. Like, more than most things \u2014 like breathing and blinking \u2014 annoy me. And I have mostly grown out of that phase where I like to argue with people on the internet (save the occasional passive-aggressive rant about drunk bitches from Virginia<\/a>), so I shocked even myself when I sent the author, Charles Maldonado, a message via the Metropulse website. After all, Charles seems like a hip, funny kid. He’s pixelated<\/a>! He can probably bullshit his way through a definition of “post-modern” with the best of ’em. I’d probably buy his snarky ass a beer had we met under different circumstances. <\/p>\n

But Thursday night I found myself sending this to him:<\/p>\n

Hi Charles,<\/p>\n

I read your police blotter item about ferrets and thought it was really mean. I usually don’t write to people expressly to tell them they’re assholes, because who has the time? But I felt really compelled to this time. So: You’re an asshole.<\/p>\n

Cheers,
\nLindsey<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So this afternoon, Charles replied thusly: <\/p>\n

Lindsey,
\nYour letter warmed my heart. To think that someone would take time (out of what I assume to be a busy schedule) to defend such a disgusting animal as a ferret is really wonderful. Are you a ferret owner or just a ferret enthusiast?<\/p>\n

I guess this could simply be a case of diverging olfactory opinions. Do you also enjoy the smell of stale perspiration or burning tires? I do not.<\/p>\n

Yours always,
\nCharles<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ha. Haha. <\/p>\n

I was going to just let it go, but since he made me laugh, I had to at least let him know I appreciated that. <\/p>\n

Charles,<\/p>\n

Your note made me laugh, so I will say simply this: Touch\u00e9, motherfucker.<\/p>\n

Also, it’s refreshing to see a columnist so unabashedly willing to follow in the comedy footsteps of Carlos Mencia. He’s hilarious!<\/i><\/p>\n

Still chortling,
\nLindsey<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I await a reply from my sweet, sweet Prince of Snark. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was alerted to this nugget of forced hilarity over at Knoxville Metropulse yesterday. I was a flaming bitch on wheels yesterday, so reading that really, really annoyed me. Like, more than most things \u2014 like breathing and blinking \u2014 annoy me. And I have mostly grown out of that phase where I like to argue with people on the internet (save the occasional passive-aggressive rant about drunk bitches from Virginia), so I shocked even… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[2182,955,2171],"class_list":["post-2345","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-webshits","tag-ferrets","tag-knoxville-metropulse","tag-webshits"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-BP","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2345","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2345"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2345\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2345"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2345"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2345"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}