I’ve been struggling with sour soul lately, so I did a little bit of unplugging, including from Twitter, and what happens? Last night I get a notification that my mother is now following me.<\/p>\n
That flash you just saw? That was the illusion that I am not a foul-mouthed, drunken degenerate taking to the sky with pigs.<\/p>\n
So, Internet, welcome my mother to Twitter<\/a>. She has three followers right now: Me, my sister, and “Britney Fuck Vids,” whose avatar is a woman giving a BJ<\/a> (N very SFW). <\/p>\n You stay classy, Internet. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’ve been struggling with sour soul lately, so I did a little bit of unplugging, including from Twitter, and what happens? Last night I get a notification that my mother is now following me. That flash you just saw? That was the illusion that I am not a foul-mouthed, drunken degenerate taking to the sky with pigs. So, Internet, welcome my mother to Twitter. She has three followers right now: Me, my sister, and “Britney… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[363,85,115,146],"tags":[500,452,435,451,725,913],"class_list":["post-2422","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fran-moments","category-the-family","category-the-internet-is-fun","category-the-internet-is-not-fun","tag-family","tag-funny","tag-internet","tag-mom","tag-online","tag-twitter"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-D4","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2422","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2422"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2422\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2422"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2422"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2422"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}