{"id":5289,"date":"2011-06-02T22:18:40","date_gmt":"2011-06-03T04:18:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/?p=5289"},"modified":"2011-06-02T22:18:40","modified_gmt":"2011-06-03T04:18:40","slug":"my-doula-nick-solves-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/friends\/my-doula-nick-solves-problems\/","title":{"rendered":"My doula Nick solves problems"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Me:<\/strong> my mom is wanting me to have a baby shower in my hometown, and she wants to invite some childhood friends i haven&#8217;t seen in 10+ years<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nick:<\/strong> nice<br \/>\nthat&#8217;ll be fun for you<\/p>\n<p>here&#8217;s a plan<br \/>\ninvite them<br \/>\nall of them<br \/>\nshove a water balloon up between your legs<br \/>\nbust it right when you walk in<br \/>\nbe all like. oh no my water broke<\/p>\n<p>leave<br \/>\nyour good<\/p>\n<p><strong>Me:<\/strong> yes, i&#8217;m sure that will be the end of that<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nick:<\/strong> fill it with cherry koolaid to really freak everyone out<\/p>\n<p><strong>me:<\/strong> i&#8217;m revoking your license<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nick:<\/strong> i&#8217;m like dr. fucking phil<br \/>\nor vanilla ice<br \/>\nyou got a problem<br \/>\ni&#8217;ll solve it<br \/>\ncheck out the hook<br \/>\nwhile my dj revolves it<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Me: my mom is wanting me to have a baby shower in my hometown, and she wants to invite some childhood friends i haven&#8217;t seen in 10+ years Nick: nice that&#8217;ll be fun for you here&#8217;s a plan invite them all of them shove a water balloon up between your legs bust it right when you walk in be all like. oh no my water broke leave your good Me: yes, i&#8217;m sure that will&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[32,252],"tags":[728,2158,1816,2163,986,2216],"class_list":["post-5289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friends","category-pregnancy","tag-chat","tag-comedy","tag-doula","tag-friends","tag-nick","tag-pregnancy"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-1nj","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5289"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5290,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5289\/revisions\/5290"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}