{"id":729,"date":"2006-01-29T04:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-01-29T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/?p=729"},"modified":"2006-01-29T04:00:00","modified_gmt":"2006-01-29T04:00:00","slug":"let-there-be-light-motherfuckers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/uncategorized\/let-there-be-light-motherfuckers\/","title":{"rendered":"Let there be light, motherfuckers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>All the fire in hell right now could not be hotter than my anger for the incompetent paper pushers at Memphis Light, Gas &#038; Water. <\/p>\n<p>First there was <a href=\"http:\/\/theogeo.blogspot.com\/2006\/01\/heres-one-way-to-ruin-day.html\">this<\/a>. But they warned us for months that price gouging was to be expected in the winter months. And like a nation of turtles on our backs, we just sat and let the power companies run over us.<\/p>\n<p>But today MLGW really outdid themselves with their corrupt, useless malarky.<\/p>\n<p>At the beginning of this week, I called to have all my utilities\/cable\/internet transferred to the new address, which I will be moving to tomorrow morning. I scheduled light and water for Friday (yesterday) and cable\/internet for Monday.<\/p>\n<p>So yesterday I stopped by the apartment to drop off a couple of boxes on my way to work at about 3 p.m. There was no power. <i>Hmmm<\/i>, I thought, <i>that&#8217;s weird. Oh well. There&#8217;s still a couple more hours left in the business day for them to come do it, so I won&#8217;t worry too much. Who left this Kerry\/Edwards yard sign in the hall closet?<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Then, to ease my paranoia, this morning I called MLGW to confirm that they had indeed connected the power on Friday. The nice customer service lady gave me the affirmative and I breathed a naive sigh of relief and thought precious little more about it as I clawed my way through my closet, stuffing clothes into old Old Navy bags and chucking boxes to and fro.<\/p>\n<p>I left for work a little early so I could swing by the apartment and see for myself that I had electricity. And I didn&#8217;t. <\/p>\n<p>And my shit hit the fan. I called MLGW and, despite having talked to an actual human just hours earlier, was informed by a friendly voicebot that they were closed on weekends. So I wrote down the number for emergencies and called it.<\/p>\n<p>I told the emergency customer service lady about my predicament &#8212; I am moving into this place tomorrow and had scheduled to have power connected on Friday and was told by someone that morning that I did indeed have power &#8212; and she said that they must have sent someone out yesterday but if no one was at the apartment, they wouldn&#8217;t have connected the power. <\/p>\n<p>The play-by-play:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;So I was supposed to be there? No one <i>ever<\/i> told me that.&#8221; I was livid. <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes, someone has to be in the apartment for us to connect the power.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>I had not heard of such a thing ever in my life. They certainly don&#8217;t require you to be there when they cut your power off if you don&#8217;t pay your bill. WTF?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, I don&#8217;t live there yet. Why would I be hanging out in an apartment I don&#8217;t even live in?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We can send someone out today between now and 11 p.m.&#8221; It was 3:30 and pouring rain and I was already late for work.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, I&#8217;m on my way to work right now. So someone is supposed to go sit in the apartment until you guys get around to coming any time between now and 11 tonight?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes ma&#8217;am.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You can&#8217;t narrow it down to like a couple of hours so I don&#8217;t have to find someone to sit up there in a dark apartment until you guys feel like coming out?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Some time between now and 11 is all I can tell you&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>[140 decibel mental screams inside my head.] &#8220;Well, the only time someone will definitely be there is tomorrow when I&#8217;m actually moving in. Can we schedule it for then?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No, we don&#8217;t work on Sundays. If we don&#8217;t do it today, then Monday is the next day we can do it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;OK, well I will already have been living there for a  day by then.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>So, mustering as much bitchface as I could, I instructed the lady to just send someone out and I&#8217;d try to have someone sitting in the apartment, waiting on a feckless MLGW drone to come do me the favor of doing the job I was told had already been done. I actually had no plans to have anyone there waiting. I just wanted some MLGW asshole to waste his time like they were wasting mine.<\/p>\n<p>But Lady Luck, that sweet piece of ass, showed me a little skin: My leasing agent\/maintenance guy happened to walk through the parking lot (ever-present glass of beer in hand), and he saw me and asked if everything was OK. I explained the situation to him and he said he has to deal with MLGW&#8217;s shit all the time, so he wasn&#8217;t surprised. He said he was going to be in my apartment for a while doing some last-minute preparation, and that if they came by while he was there, he would let them in, but that he had other work to do so he couldn&#8217;t hang around all night waiting on them.<\/p>\n<p>So I just asked him to call me if they came. <\/p>\n<p>And they came a couple of hours later, while my landlord guy just happened to be walking around the parking lot. So I have electricity. And it feels almost as miraculous as it would had God himself descended upon this fair Earth and lit my lamps with a flick of his holy finger.<\/p>\n<p>And, lest you think my bitching is an empty endeavor, I am working on a formal complaint that I&#8217;ll file with MLGW. It&#8217;s a futile gesture, I know, because I have it on good authority that as those things come in, they&#8217;re routed straight to the shredder.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>All the fire in hell right now could not be hotter than my anger for the incompetent paper pushers at Memphis Light, Gas &#038; Water. First there was this. But they warned us for months that price gouging was to be expected in the winter months. And like a nation of turtles on our backs, we just sat and let the power companies run over us. But today MLGW really outdid themselves with their corrupt,&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-729","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-bL","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/729","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=729"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/729\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=729"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=729"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=729"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}