Rough night last night. Conversations and facing reality and making choices and crying. <\/p>\n
And then, dreams:<\/p>\n
I. I am riding a bike, taking an unfamiliar trail through the woods. It’s nighttime. I’m cruising along and I start to notice people sleeping on the ground all around me. I’ve stumbled upon a homeless camp. And my dumb ass is riding right through it while everyone’s trying to sleep. But not everyone is asleep, I see as I continue. I come to a clearing and there are people everywhere. Shit everywhere. Literally. One dude reaches out to touch me as I pass by. I’m uncomfortable and scared and embarrassed that I took a path that led me into such a private space for these people. The path curves and starts going uphill. I realize I need to get off the bike and walk, because I’m not sure I can pedal up the incline. I finally make it to the end of the path, which had just horseshoed around and come out by the entrance. There are people there, people not from the woods. I ask them what kind of trail I just traveled. They tell me it’s called “The Litter Pan.” It’s a filthy patch of land ruled by the hobos, where they shit where they like and throw trash down without any sense of remorse. I’m confused and ashamed that I had no idea about this trail until I was already on it. It doesn’t seem to matter. There’s a small, murky pond toward the entrance of The Litter Pan. There is a competition between two frat-boy types. We are, apparently, near a college campus. The frat boys have a tradition of wrestling in this filthy, stagnant pond where all the hobos bathe and piss. I watch the competition in the moonlight. <\/p>\n
II. Sitting on a church pew. My aunt, in name only, because I know she’s my aunt, though I don’t recognize her, sits down beside me and proceeds to scold me for being so disgustingly fat. She says everyone has noticed my dramatic weight gain, and that if I don’t lose 50 pounds, I’ll never “land another man.” I wake up feeling flabby and ashamed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Rough night last night. Conversations and facing reality and making choices and crying. And then, dreams: I. I am riding a bike, taking an unfamiliar trail through the woods. It’s nighttime. I’m cruising along and I start to notice people sleeping on the ground all around me. I’ve stumbled upon a homeless camp. And my dumb ass is riding right through it while everyone’s trying to sleep. But not everyone is asleep, I see as… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-804","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1jWWl-cY","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/804","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=804"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/804\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=804"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=804"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theogeo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=804"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}