to his owner, “Scream at me and then spray me with water
several times until I run into another room,
unsure of what just transpired.”
My boy cat is having an identity crisis. He thinks he’s a godforsaken mountain goat.
Exhibit A: Once again (he’s done this twice before, and has apparently not heeded my past warnings), he has chewed through the phone cord, cutting off my internet access. (I have DSL. It’s a long story. You can read about that here if you’re wondering why I don’t have cable or wireless.) He did this because I only fed him and Sally a can of wet food in the morning, planning to feed them again when I got home after work. Apparently he was so angry at the prospect of having to subsist on half a can of wet food (okay, let’s face it — three-fourths of a can; there is no way he let Sally eat half) that he just couldn’t control his wanton cordlust. Either that or he was punishing me. I don’t see why it can’t be both.
Exhibit B: See Fig. 1. That little sumbitch somehow jumped on top of my kitchen cabinets, which are like a hundred feet tall, and perched long enough to reach over and knock down my curtains. Just, you know, for shits and giggles, I guess. Cuz he can. When I heard the commotion and came to check it out, he just sat there on top of the counter and looked at me like the groundling scum that I apparently am. Climbing ever higher, being ever more obnoxious and still so insufferably adorable — that’s my Jack.
Okay, that’s all I got. Those two exhibits. I think they make my case quite well.
I really only bring this up so I can post gratuitously cute cat photos, of course. What? I have writer’s block!
Dude, what’s up with cats these days? Django won’t stop growling and hissing at Geisha, and won’t let her come near him. He started that shit last night, in bed, when he was on my fucking head and I was afraid I might lose an eye.
THESE CRAZY CATS, WHATCHU GONNA DO!?!!?
Our boy cats have clearly gone mad. What do you think Sally and Geisha would do if we switched Jack and Django for a couple of days? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
Have you tried something like this to keep him from chewing cords? I don’t know if it would work on a phone cord, but I don’t see why not…