Me, aloud, on the car ride home: I argued the word “miraculous” off the front page today. Me, pretending to be someone else, in my skull: Why? Me, aloud: Because it’s not the fucking 700 Club.
I really meant to link to this last week but I have that, you know, brain thing. Shane‘s awesome papercraft skills + Curt and Chris‘ awesome comic skills + my photos = BEHOLD! Basically the funniest/cutest thing you ever did see.
Today I waged a word battle at work and I lost. It was over this story on The CA‘s site. The headline: “Third ex-Memphis police officer pleads guilty to forced sex with prostitutes.” “Forced sex,” huh? Like, sex you don’t want to have but that someone else makes you have? So … like … rape? After seeing my pal Amanda’s complaint about the euphemism on Twitter, I read the story and agreed totally with her.…
Listening to music while in the bathroom just got a lot easier thanks to this Lifehacker tip. I don’t really know how they got an iPhone to fit like that into a pint glass, though. I have some snazzy pint glasses (thanks to Fancycwabs) and my phone barely shimmies down in them halfway. I do, however, have two of these awesome midcentury red diamond glasses, which I inherited from my great grandmother after she passed…
Internet, I feel like I have voluntarily cast myself into the desert and am not even halfway across the first dune. The thing is, the desert looked completely walkable at first glance, but now I realize that every step takes extra effort because I’m WALKING ON FREAKING STUPID SAND. I am, of course, being overly metaphorical here in my attempt to describe what it’s like to realize that I am only 80 pages in to…
Nick: i took a nap now i’m up tallking to the mom her dentist yanked her widsom teeth along time ago apparntly that sounds unpleasant me: eeesh, yeah Nick: gonna try eating ice cream again last time it came up in a bloody vomit mess me: is that true? ahahah i mean, sorry Nick: it was right after i got home and i was supposed to take a lortab and the note said to take…
All right, you beautiful bastiches, let’s get this crazy train rolling again. I’ve had six hours of sleep and I am ready to muffpunch the universe. I mean read this magazine. Where were we? Oh yes, page 50. OH FUCK, THERE ARE WEREWOLVES. Hang on while I make a pot of incredibly strong coffee to help me cope. … Okay, that’s better. Sheesus, magazine, werewolves? Because vampires are so played out? Teen Wolf, Taylor Lautner,…
One of the fun things about moving is the slow and steady trickle of the former tenant’s mail that you get to receive for a few months (or, if you’re super fortunate, years). When I moved into this house, I suddenly became the recipient of fashion catalogs from stores I literally had never even heard of, all of which were peddling stretchy, layery black things for exorbitant amounts of money. My house’s previous occupant was…
Sunday I slept and slept and woke and read and slept and put a pot of coffee on and stretched out in bed and smelled the coffee from across the house and drank the coffee and talked on the phone. I met up with the ladies. Had a big fat salad with fried things on it, and water. Monday I got up early and visited Ashley and Luke and Lilly and brought late Christmas and…
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