All grown up When we were childrenyou would borrow my journaland write love poems about other girls in the margins.I said You should get your ownand you scoffed:Journals are for needy people. That summer you set yourself on fireand declared the people who looked at youto be pathetic voyeurs. I smelled your burning flesh and couldn’t help but smile:finally, your actions trumpedyour words. There are those of uswho take comfort in spreading the shit and…
Just a quick one from the parents’ house. I’ve got to get out of this room; my brother is playing my nephews’ Donkey Kong Jungle Beat game and the clapping is making my ears ache. We are going to have a whole generation of deaf kids with ADD. I’ve had a fabulous time and gotten lots of amazing stuff I don’t deserve but am completely smitten with anyway. Amber’s visit was short and sweet and…
Ralphie, meet Casey My family has long marveled at how much my nephew Casey looks like poor little Ralphie from A Christmas Story. Yes, it’s on TBS for the next 24 hours, and yes, I’m watching it while flitting around, getting last-minute wrapping and travel preparations done. Tonight marks the first Christmas Eve I’ve ever spent away from my parents’ home. It’s not so bad, I guess, though I’m positive it will be impossible to…
I stumbled upon this site far too late (my co-worker Holly told me about it) to get anyone’s Christmas gift from here. However, it’s not too late to hand out a few virtual gifts. For Nick, nihilist chewing gum, to help ease the pain of realizing the world’s turning to shit. For Patrick (OK, actually Patrick’s mom), the world’s largest underpants. (Oooh, burn!) For Brandon, this internet urinal. Because you know you need one. (I’d…
1. Why, when he has the entire bed on which to sleep (Phil’s already gone to his family’s for Christmas), Howey insists on sleeping on my face.2. How I can wake up without a shirt on when I went to bed with one on. 3. Does sleeping with the Mag-Lite and the phone next to me really make me feel any safer?
Speaking of transcending biology, how would you like to stop having a period? In 2006, a new oral contraceptive called Anya, developed to “put women in control of when or if they want to menstruate,” is expected to hit the Canadian and U.S. markets. Manufactured by Collegeville, Penn.-based Wyeth Pharmaceuticals — and currently pending approval by Health Canada — Anya is the first low-dose birth control pill designed to be taken 365 days a year,…
Today, inventor and all-around nutty, brilliant nerd Ray Kurweil was a guest on NPR’s Talk of the Nation Science Friday. He talked* about the telescoping of technological innovation and how rapidly scientists are expanding the storage and cognitive capacities of computers. He thinks that we can’t even begin to imagine the technological outcomes that will occur within just the next few decades (flying cars? think waaaay bigger, he says). Computers’ capabilities increase exponentially and consistently…
Oh, how the mighty have fallen From USA Today: LOS ANGELES (AP) — Actor Brad Renfro was arrested in a sting operation after he allegedly tried to buy heroin near downtown’s Skid Row, police said. Renfro, 23, was booked for investigation of felony attempting to possess heroin, Detective Ron Hodges said. “He was intending to buy real heroin from an undercover officer,” Hodges said. Renfro, the star of the 1994 film The Client, was caught…
Every now and then, my friend Fritz (coughJoeycough) plays a fun little game where he highlights the funny things that people search for that bring them to his blog. The search terms are as racy as you might expect. Recently, I’ve gotten some hits from people looking for a combination of the words “sex,” “sister,” and “little boys,” which is pretty effin’ creepy. Someone even got here by specifically looking for “best friend’s sister fucked…
You’d think he was trying to hide a bomb under that kilt or something. Nathan Warmack wanted to honor his heritage by wearing a Scottish kilt to his high school dance. Then a principal told him to change into a pair of pants. Oh lord, here we go. Some kid tries to do something shocking, like expressing his individuality in an innocuous way that is somewhat non-traditional (though, shouldn’t you argue that wearing a kilt…
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