When I was a kid I thought Labor Day was the day all the babies were born. Except me. Because, you know, I was born on Jesus’ birthday instead. Let’s all join hands and send these positive directives into the universe: Do not use the word “hate” when you mean “hatred.” Do not use the word “impact” when you mean “affect.” Do not say “regime” when you mean “regimen.” I just wrote a long diatribe…
This sweet candy lily and its sibling nearby don’t seem to be as put out by the relentless heat as much of the other stuff gasping blooms out there right now. This is another installment of the continuing Transplanted From @saraclark’s Garden Series.
While hiking up Lookout Mountain last year, Nick Fowler and I for some reason started talking about black-eyed Susans and how they got their name. We pretty much settled on the only possibility that made sense to us at the time: That the black-eyed Susan was a flower insensitively and macabrely named for a domestic violence altercation of yore. That is not true, the internet tells me, and I am quite relieved. Anyway, I have…
I have good friends. Good, solid, generous friends. I’ve got a bedroom filling up with knick-knacks, furniture, clothes, toys, and more, given to me by people who know I will need it and who want to help. I’ve got a crib and changing table on the way thanks to a friend who thought enough of us to enter us in a contest and kick our nomination up a notch with a super creative entry. I’ve…
Everyone say hello to the coneflowers that made it all the way from Nashville to Memphis via @saraclark. They are bustin’ out!
Me: my mom is wanting me to have a baby shower in my hometown, and she wants to invite some childhood friends i haven’t seen in 10+ years Nick: nice that’ll be fun for you here’s a plan invite them all of them shove a water balloon up between your legs bust it right when you walk in be all like. oh no my water broke leave your good Me: yes, i’m sure that will…
Courtney was nice enough to invite me to go strawberry picking at Jones Orchard with her and Dustin, Daphne, and her sister Chelsea. The weather was amazing and I didn’t even break a sweat. That’s how I gauge good weather. Sunny? Check. Breezy? Check. Sweaty? Nope. EFFING FABULOUS. We let the munchkin go nuts, picking her own crop and sampling some of the pickins first — to make sure they met her quality standards, of…
And so begins many months of being the sober one at parties. It’s actually not so bad. It keeps me out of trouble and I am permanently hangover-free, which is honestly one of the best feelings ever. Of course, my social anxiety does cartwheels around the room when I can’t get a couple of drinks in me, but I’m just going to have to get over that. Things you can do while sober at a…
Remember this bit of strategic foreshadowing? No? Well, that’s why Al Gore invented the hyperlink. So my pal Ed and I sat down and had a little chat about the social web and what a sticky wicket it is, and we recorded that conversation for posterity and for a time capsule element I will one day beam into my children’s head pods’ humor modules. My one regret is that I was having such a mouth-stuffing…
Luke and Lilly hung out with me Friday morning, and I very nearly let them go home unscathed. And yet! We were outside picking flowers and Lilly took a tumble and skinned her knees a little bit. I had an ancient Kermit bandage — seriously, that thing had been kicking around my first aid kit for at least 10 or 15 years — that seemed to do the trick long enough for her to get…
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